 Posted Friday, March 12, 2004 10:53 AM
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Just to get off subject for a moment, I was reading back at some of the old threads and found one on jokes. They are all cute and got a chuckle from me. I heard one yesterday about the mormons and thought, even though it's not CS in nature, it's cute anyways (I think). . . . . and not too offensive (I hope) . . .
Three men were sitting on the curb chatting lightheardly. Someone came along and stood beside them observing them. He noted: One was munching on an apple, one was sipping a Tab (soda). The third was just staring dully off into space. Unfortunately, he looked to be somewhat retarded.
The man observing them said "Who are you guys, anyways? I've never seen you here before."
The apple muncher smiled and said "We're the moron-tab-and-apple choir!" (Mormon Tabernacle Choir). . . . . Well, I thought it was cute and might bring a smile. . . . . Grace
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Posted Saturday, March 13, 2004 7:47 PM
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I ran across a link the other day with a transcript and audio link for Who's on First? by Abbott & Costello. I don't mean to be too critical in sharing this bit of classic humor, but the routine reminds me of discussions I have from time to time with CSists about Scripture when I'm referring to the literal word and they're hearing with "spiritual" ears.
Do Go Be Man
<><
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Posted Saturday, March 13, 2004 10:20 PM
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Abbot and Costello's knack was the use of two meanings for one word (or name). I rented a great old movie recently: "Damsel in Distress,"* with Fred Astaire in a musical/comic role, backed up by George Burns and Gracie Allen. Allen's knack was the same: interpreting a word or figure of speach differently than it was intended or commonly used.
And that's what we find oftentime in CS: we have certain expectations of meaning, but CS has its own. The insidious thing is (at least in my personal history), CS'ists ususally know full well that their non-CS friend is understanding one thing, but they kidn of "save the metaphysical meaning" on the side for themselves.
My favorite: Nathan Talbot's telling the press "we believe in the practical power of applied prayer," knowing that what the public and the press understand "prayer" to be is quite different than what CS'ists practice! (Also, note the alliteration in that phrase!)
*Worth checking out, even if you don't ordinarily like old Black-and-Whites. Script was by P.D. Wodehouse, who wrote the old "Jeeves the Butler" adventures.
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Posted Saturday, March 13, 2004 10:25 PM
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George Burns is one of those celebs alledged to have studied CS. You don't suppose that Gracie got the idea from discussing theology with George. 
Do Go Be Man
<><
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Posted Tuesday, August 30, 2005 7:18 PM
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A priest and a pastor from the local churches are standing by the side of the road, pounding a sign into the ground, that reads: "The End Is Near! Turn Yourself Around Now Before It's Too Late!"
As a car sped past them, the driver yelled, "Leave us alone you religious nuts!"
From the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash.
The pastor turns to the priest and asks, "Do you think the sign should just say "Bridge Out?"
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Posted Wednesday, November 16, 2005 4:28 PM
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| Anyone watch the Steve Martin - Mark Twain tribute last Sunday? I admit it was pretty boring until Larry David showed up as one of the presenters (and, of course, nothing HE said can be written here but, once again, his presence illustrated why Seinfeld lost its anchor during the last years). Eric Idle showed up and read Steve's essay on "Side Effects." Of course, it had a lot of people laughing who never HEARD of Christian Science, but know the trauma of medical side effects. You can read this by googling "steve martin side effects.' It's worth a huge laugh.....(if you don't take 'medicine' too seriously, that is).
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Posted Friday, February 10, 2006 8:54 PM
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Ellen Degeneres who grew up in CS said she thought people had stomach-cakes instead of stomach-aches. Growing up in C.S., anything physically related just remained a mystery shrouded in dark clouds of dark mysteriousness! I never knew what any of those commercials on TV were talking about. My husband finally explained to me what constipation meant. I never knew going to the bathroom was such a complicated thing, but it really explained a lot. And pepto bismo? What good could a bright pink bottle of liquid bubblegum do for anyone? And i didn't know what the painful burning itch of a hemmoroid was referring to...but preperation H...and Tucks medicated pads had something to do with the cure. And by the amount of hemmoroid commercials there were, this appeared to be a nationwide epidemic. (At least I would have thought so if I had known what an epidemic was.)
And then there was the guilt. I used Blistex (with medicated ointment) once. And I knew the child's game HEADACHE with the pop up dice under the plastic bubble was subversive but I was strangely attracted to it's pop-o-matic lure. And I tingled with excitement to hear kids talk about last nights airing of "The Boy in The Plastic Bubble" starring John Travolta in his most dramatic role since episode 5 of WELCOME BACK KOTTER when Vinnie Barbarino had to face the hard truth that he had to wear glasses despite the fact that they make him look like a nerd. But perhaps I am dating myself...
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Posted Friday, October 27, 2006 4:54 PM
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| This one doesn't really have to do with CS, but it's still a fun joke. We tell it quite often in Baptist churches: One time a kindergarten class was discussing different religions. There were students of several different religious backgrounds, and each was asked to bring in a symbol of their religion and show it to the class. The first student stood in front of the class and said, "I'm Roman Catholic, and this is my Rosary with a crucifix on it." The second student stood up and said, "I'm Muslim, and this is my prayer rug." The third student stood up and said, "I'm Jewish, and this is a Star of David." The fourth student stood up and said, "I'm a Baptist, and this is my casserole dish."
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"Now as we have many parts in one body, and all the parts do not have the same function, in the same way we who are many are one body in Christ and individually members of one another."--Romans 12:4-5 (HCSB)
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Posted Monday, July 16, 2007 8:52 PM
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It's so dry in my part of the country that the Baptists are starting to
baptize by sprinkling, the Methodists are giving out wet-wipes, the
Presbyterians are giving out rain-checks, and the Catholics are
praying for the wine to turn back into water. The CSists hauled their ski boats and jet skis down to the dry lake beds and tell us they're having a great time!
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