Glad to have someone to talk to. My father was CS before I was born but quit due to a health related experience he had so we were raised Presbyterians. My father's brother and family are CS. To further complicate this I am a medical nurse and was in the midst of a migraine and serious emotional turmoil the last time I saw my Uncle. This was over 10 years ago. I was sitting beside him at Thanksgiving dinner and I could see all the symptoms of a heart condition but did not tell him. Within a year he died of heart failure. When I was there the family seemed to be trying to heal me and it did help, but I also felt de-valued, not only for some of my life choices but also for the thing that I did have to offer that I didn't share that could have saved his life.

   There has also been another early unexplained death in their family and I feel guilty and invisible. There is a lot wrong in the medical world too and I have been studying CS for 2 years, made some friends, prayed with a practioner and even recently was thinking about class. This may sound odd as of the 2 deaths I mentioned but having experienced healing in CS and loving my extended family so much I thought perhaps something would come out of this that would benefit all. Then I wrote to a practitioner that I truly felt God was leading me to, even though I didn't particularly care for some things I had heard about this person, and the practitioner said teaching me wasn't the right step for the practitioner. Later I found myself grieving my Uncle's death again and understanding God to say to me that Love is the most important . It is like looking at a circle and Love is the center and all action needs to proceed from that center but I can't seem to move or connect , find the tangible direction to take.

    I just wanted to connect and talk about this because I think it is what I need to do. There is a lot more where this comes from. Thanks for being there.

Please forgive what may appear to be ingracious sarcasm. As one of those dissident PCA-types who clings to the concept of Biblical inerrancy (in the original texts), I would expect a degree of confusion in a household influenced by PCUSA, Unitarianism, and CS. That's a mix representing pieces with which I have experience, but not all at once. Obviously, that has not been your experience, but it has been mine.

One of the things that pushed me away from CS was the concept of Biblical falibility and errancy. Accepting the Bible as mere legend or corrupted wisdom leads to a collapse of logic that ultimately requires abandoning Christianity. While I was a PCUSA member after coming out of CS, my pastor told me that "Scripture is irrelevant". I soon discovered that to be the case for the PCUSA in general. I could not accept the lack of foundational theology that represented. I also noticed that even with a CS background that I had more knowledge of the Bible than most of my fellow church members.

My encounters with Unitarianism include posts on these forums, family members, and friends. From my perspective, believing in everything means believing in nothing.

CS simply does not concur with its alleged foundation of the Scriptures. Only by deleting large chunks of the Bible and redefining others, does it make sense.

Do Go Be Man
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 I don't take your response as ungracious sarcasam. You are just stating what you believe; that's honesty as far as I'm concerned. My church has quite a mix of the spectrum. My husband finds my church too liberal and I don't think he is a member of the PCUSA. I can understand why you say that in CS it seemed you had more exposure to the Bible than the PCUSA, as we get about 3 readings in a service and then a sermon. There are many independent Bible Study groups and different Christian ED. instructors who delve deeply into the Bible. My Pastor would never say scripture is irrelevant, it is what we base our faith on.     Sincerely, Rosebud3   By the way, it was a jewish friend of mine (who died of ovarian cancer)who introduced me to CBS, and we studied Deuteronomy and Psalms extensively. It was like taking a college course. 

             I love the way that you put that. It really clarifies a lot. I have come to the same conclusion about what you say about Love in the beginning of your reply. I put most of my CS literature and books in a box this AM as a way of validating my study of it for 2 years and setting the obsessive reading of it aside. Actually, some of what helped me in this process was communications with CS practitioners. I've needed to find a sense of my value to God so I can connect tangibly with our world in a loving way. I think some of the attraction of CS study for me was because I needed to feel comforted when I was afraid and did not know how to connect, as I am going through transition right now. Thanks for the reply. Rosebud3. 

Clearly you loved your uncle deeply and seem to feel some guilt that you did not warn him of his heart condition so that he might have done something about it and lived. That is a burden you shouldnt carry through your life.

Although I am not a Christian Scientist, I have been married to one for almost 40 years and I can tell you that they feel it is not good to say those kind of things to a CS'ist when they seem ill, as you are considered to be contributing to the problem.  Most likely he would not have done anything about it anyway, other than "studying", and your words would not have been appreciated. On the contrary, he would have had to mentally deny all you said to him, making his task harder and conceivably, after his death, some fault would have been attributed to you for "voicing the fear".  

His death is not your fault Rosebud.

This is a forum for former CS'ists and most people are not too happy about their CS experiences, myself included. I would warn you against gravitating towards a religion because you like some practitioner or some people you have met. Judge a religion by its doctrines and how closely it follows the words of God, and Jesus, and that would be the Bible, right?  Christian Scientists dont carry around the Bible in tmies of trouble the