 Posted Monday, August 18, 2008 6:25 PM
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| Ann, Thank you for telling your story here. It is important to me... because I see so much of what has happened to me and how I feel repeated in your words. I want desperately to erradicate everything in my life that has to do with Christian Science yet I still come here with hopes of reading more stories like yours because they validate how I feel and give me strength to steer the course I have chosen. I too have witnessed so much "odd" behavior among CSers over the last 40 years. When my practitioner mother-in-law died my CS sister-in-law made a comment to me a month or two later..."I dont miss her". I didnt even reply to her as I thought it was such an odd comment. She and her mother were extraordinarily close. Now I know why she said it. It was denying she was grieving or missing her mother. My class taught, life long, 3rd generation, radical reliance, lesson reading, hard studying CS husband (we are separated) had congestive heart failure almost 2 years ago. After a heart episode he refused to let me take him to the hospital. Over the next 6 weeks he slipped towards death...all his praying and studying doing no good whatsoever. (But then it hadnt helped him with his decade long gout and prostate problems either.) Watching him slowly and painfully decline was horriffic to watch for me and his children. Close to death ...!!!!.... he finally gave in and went to the hospital. Materia Medica had him completely turned around in a matter of days. But he felt himself to be a failure for not getting a healing. Within months he looked better than he had in years, although he would have to continue the meds for the rest of his life. Need I say he decided to stop taking them so he could be more spiritual. This time his slide was quicker and deeper, and while in a CS nursing home he had a stroke. (guess the hymn sings didnt work either) He had an ambulance take him to the hospital. It was tougher for Materia Medica to bring him back this time but he was walking and talking and here for Father's Day and with daily medication he has a chance to live on. But who knows what he will decide to do..to his mind he has gotten in bed with the devil. The practising CSers who come to this site would maybe say he wasnt enough of a bible scholar, or maybe didnt have enough understanding. Then what does it take???? I hope they never have to find out too late, when THEY get a SERIOUS illness that their understanding wasnt enough either. My experience with Christian Scientists seems to show that when times are good for them and they are getting their headache healings, wart healings and relationship healings, they ride this high horse and look down on everyone outside their circle of believers as "not understanding the bible well enough" or not being truly spiritual, or knowing love but not Love, life but not Life, mind but not Mind. But if and when the hard times come for them, the SERIOUS health problem, and they cant get a healing, their words have come home to roost. It clearly takes more than a lifetime of study, and it takes more than a teacher for a practitioner. Then the cycle is repeated and they are left to suffer and die and their CS friends are not there to hold their hand or pray for them, because they are under medical care. I have seen it too many times now and its senseless, sad, needless. Practising CSers who read this, Im not here to to make you angry or to hurt you, Im here to tell you to wake up and look at what is down he road for you. I dont want you to suffer and die too. Ann, I am so sorry for your loss of your ex-husband. It is such a tragedy. Your love for him and your shining strength of character casts such a bright light. You are a really good person. Square Peg
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Posted Tuesday, August 19, 2008 8:43 AM
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Square Peg,
Thanks for your message! It is such a relief to know that I am not the only one who feels this way, and has experienced the indoctrination of CS. All my friends are either still CS, or know absolutely nothing about CS and wonder why a church I left so long ago would be such a big deal to me. I'm sorry to hear about your husband's health -- I hope he comes to accept medical help, but I must admit, even after all these years, I have to force myself sometimes to keep up regular doctor appointments, and I REALLY hate to go to the dentist, after all those years of having fillings with no novocaine.
When I was in CS, I was very very active, but there was always this feeling that I was doing much less than everyone else, that I was not reading the lesson sermon every single day, or healing every single wart (we used to laugh about that in church!). I have a kind of weird story. A year or so after graduation, a friend from Prin had a horrific accident and had to have both his legs amputated, poor guy. My husband said we had to pray for a full healing. That, I well remember, was my first real moment of doubt -- come on, he wasn't going to grow his legs back, be realistic! My husband said, A starfish can grow a limb back if it loses it. Hmmmm. (He did not grow his legs back, by the way, last I heard.)
Nearly thirty years later, after my (ex) husband's death, I told this story to his boyfriend (who was struggling with the baffling way my ex dealt with illness), and he said, "He told ME that starfish thing too, and I have no idea what he was talking about!"
Speaking of teachers and practitioners, I was surfing the web, finding stories posted by ex-CS's, and was especially horrified by the one where the CS mother decided she'd rather be a bad CS and have a living daughter, and took the child to the ER. Her practitioner refused to pray for the daughter under medical treatment (which is standard, I know), but also told the mother to take her daughter home because it was better if she died????? Who would say such a thing to a mother???? I'm just flabbergasted. And then, this same practitioner was deposed by the court in the Swans' case. He wasn't directly involved, but as a practitioner and teacher, gave information on how practitioners work. He stated that the victim (who was 15 months old) and the parents were "too focused on the physical healing instead of spiritual growth" and it was THEIR FAULT the baby died, because CS ALWAYS heals IF CORRECTLY APPLIED. What a convenient statement -- CS is never wrong, YOU are! I have felt for many years that "blame the victim" undercurrent, but never realized a practitioner would actually so bluntly say just that!
But when I read God's Perfect Child, the author told these stories, and also gave the name of the practitioner: J. Thomas Black, CSB. I googled him, and he's now on the Board of Directors of TMC.
This blows me away, because Tom Black is my teacher!!! I know he has children -- would he let THEM die because they were "too focused on physical healing instead of spiritual growth"? Unbelievable!!! And so clearly my prayers back in 1976 to be led to the right teacher for class instruction --- yeah, right!
Ann
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