The Christian Way Forums / The Christian Way Forums / New to Forums -- Introductions and Personal Stories

Christian Science greetings

CabinInTheForest — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 11:29:39 GMT

Hi,

I am a 19 year old Christian Scientist, i found this forum by searching 'Christian science forum'. I am already on two official Christian science forums (Christianscience.com and the Christian science youth forum, TMC). Iv had a brief look around on this forum but i see this is not a Christian Science forum? Either way greetings everyone. I look forward to discussing CS with you all.

Christian Science "Care" On Trial

All for my Father — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 23:24:13 GMT

I read with great interest a case that was decided in the state of Oregan the first week of Feburary. http://www.cbsnews.com/blogs/2010/02/01/crimesider/entry6162918.shtml

Attempted faith healing that leads to death is happening all over our country. Currently, February 2010, in Springfield, MO (Greene County) Case 09-39202 involves elder abuse that led to death involving a Christian Scientist wife, and the care of her husband. After substantiation by the Missouri Senior Services (hot lined by hospital worker) and the Springfield, MO police department, the case was taken to the State Attorney's Office. It is now under review awaiting disposition by Assistant Prosecuting Attorney, Russell Dempsey in the Greene County Circuit.

The case involves a 78 year old male, (my father) who died as a result of lack of care and medical attention while in the "care" of a Christian Science wife. Albin Tisdale did have advanced directives indicating that he wanted all available medical treatment and care and had assigned his daughter to be medical power of attorney. His wife did not contact me and subsequently denied him medical care. From complications of CHF his health declined severely. At the point when paramedics were finally called Dad had a blood pressure of 99/## and 66 breaths per minute. He was removed from the home; paramedics proceeded at his request to ventilate him in the rescue truck.

Dad's exact cause of death was severe mitral regurgitation. After seven days in ICU he took he died on Monday night, August 31st. Doctors indicated that had he received treatment earlier that last week in his home, there would have been a positive outcome.

What happened in Springfield, MO should not have happened. Please share this story and others so that people will know that no child or adult is guaranteed safe in the care of someone that uses faith healing exclusively above medical attention and care.

Medical Attention And Healthcare Are Legal Obligations

Members of the church of Christ Science are known to avoid doctors in favor prayer and Christian Science Practitioner faith healing.

(Re) Visiting a CS Church

SavedbyGrace — Sun, 17 Jan 2010 23:51:23 GMT

Dear all,

Thank you for the inspiring forums and website. After many years in CS, I came to know Jesus as my Lord and Savior a few years ago. In short, a family member is being very adamant that their CS church is nothing but loving and good and I should visit sometimes, no matter what I pray or how much I listen they insist on my going back. I don't want to go back to subject myself to this false teaching again. They are threatening me with other things. I've tried to battle with this, but I'm not sure what my best sound Biblical reasoning should be to help this family member understand my need to not return (as they are extremely hurt by this and other refuting of CS that I have gone over). I John 4, I John 5:21, II John 9-11 come to mind as starters. Thanks for your experience and insightful help.

Thanks again,
Saved by Grace

Introduction - I am new to site

sheri_lowry — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 18:21:49 GMT

Hi, my name is Sheri and I have been a believer in Jesus Christ since February 2002 at the age of 31. From birth to 22 I was raised in a CS home with loving parents. I am a third generation CS on my mothers side of the family. My dad converted in his 20's. I attended CS Sunday School every Sunday from birth to 18 years old. I went to A/U CS Camp in Buena Vista, Colorado for many summers and I attended Principia College and graduated in 1992.

I didn't know anything else and was not given the opportunity to explore until I was an adult. I never really felt comfortable in the CS religion. I always felt like I wasn't doing it right because I wasn't getting results. It brough quite a bit of blame and shame. I felt like an outcast in grammer and high school.

It was difficult to break away from the thinking that I was taught growing up and I would attend Christian churchs and cringe when I heard the 'S' word (sin). I didn't like or agree with referring to Jesus as God and I didn't understand why I had to go through Jesus to get to God. He just seem like an unneccesary middle person. They talked about the Holy Sprit and I had not clue who and what that was.

I kept seeking and finally after about three years of attending a non-denominational Christian church for almost 3 years believed in my heart that I was a sinner and Jesus died on the cross for me and that I wanted to have a personal relationship with Him and accept the gift of salvation.

My parents are still practicing CS. My sister is not practicing anything but would call herself CS.

I look forward to getting involved in this discussion forum. I live in the Fort Worth area and attend Hillside Community Church.

New to this forum. Thanks for having it, I am delivered from CS

Candy — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 21:26:02 GMT

Hi, I'm happy to find your site and the encouragement of former Christian Scientists. I just wish I could stop the argument that is always ringing in my head, as I have never been right, nor will I ever be, by my own mother who lives in the strongest form of denial that exists on the face of the planet. I think she would explode if she allowed herself to feel real emotions and try to relate to or accept the atonement of the cross of Jesus, his suffering and dyeing because we have need of him, as the ONLY spotless lamb of God, slain for our sins; BECAUSE WE ARE ALL SINNERS, saved His grace! Will anyone help me with gentle things to say to her to help in her (hopeful) deliverance.. and I covet your prayers and encouragement as well. We lost our Dad in March. He also was a strong believer, former reader. They were staunch supporters of Principia College, too, even had a house in Elsa (as well as their house here in California, where my Mom still lives). Anyway, my Mom is in her 80's. My parents were married for 65 years, and were great people, but greatly deceived, as my mom still is. I pray for a miracle of her deliverance. Thanks!

Child of - An Ex Christian Scientist

Anonymous — Thu, 10 Aug 2006 09:13:14 GMT

My name is Invisible, Heartache and Confusion,

My mother was raised in the Christian Scientist Church. Her father was an Elder, her mother an alcoholic. My mom took care of her family and siblings. Her senior year in high school, she was out with an illness that almost killed her. That's about all I know of the religion.

We were raised Catholic. But my mother seemed obssessed with illnesses, pills and doctors. I am her only daughter and I have tried to take care of her. I have spent days and years with my mom trying to get her "better." She seems to have a lot of mental problems of panic, claustrophobia, depression and others. She always wants me to take her to the Dr. Now that she is older, I can't handle it anymore. I have been with her twice to the hospital detoxing off of pain medication. I found her a good place to live in that has a Nurse. The woman got my mom in good health and finally told me that she thought my mom's problems were emotional.

No one has ever talked about this in my family. We were taught it is only important to honor mom and dad. Children's emotional needs did not matter. I spent my childhood, 'taking care of mom' listening to her complaints, trying to get her to the bathroom when she thought she was going to pass out or throw up (sorry to be so graphic) while others visited or played together. When I realized I was having the same depression and suicidal thoughts as my mom, I have gone in search of a cure. I needed a cure to her pain. I knew if it helped me, it would help her. I am now trying to separate emotionally from my mom and from being her caregiver. I don't think my father and brothers understand what it was like for me. They still talk like I should be taking care of mom - especially now that she's older. We built a place for my parents to live in, but my mom insisted I do her medical care. I told her I wouldn't and she started telling my family that I didn't want to take care of her. I can barely go into a hospital and have a Dr. phobia myself now.

I just wonder if there's anyone who can relate to this strange world I've lived in of having to 'fix' mom, but not knowing how. One time she took aspirin and told me she was choking and I should give her the heimlich maneuver. I have been so afraid for her, now I'm just afraid. Thanks, IHC

Long-time Lurker wants to say Hi!

New Creation — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 20:17:23 GMT

I have been following this site for several years on and off. I have been greatly blessed by it, and I thank you for it.

I am a "New Creation" in Christ, and am so grateful that I have been redeemed and cleansed by Jesus. I can't imagine my life without Him.

However, I grew up in a CS home. I was the 4th generation. Both my sister and I left the CS church as soon as possible after leaving home for college. My parents, aunt, cousins, grandmother, and great-grandmother are all class-taught Christian Scientists and active with the church. I do not understand it. And I feel so muzzled in my convictions. My story is very similar to so many here who were children of CS. I never went to a doctor. I never took any medicine of any sort. I hated being sick, because that meant that I would have to stay at home and "know the truth." School was a much better option. I always remember being embarrased of CS. I hated when people asked me what my religion was, because I could never really explain what I believed. Generally, I just said that I was a christian--without having any idea what that meant. It was just easier. (I understand now--I became a Christian at 30--God has a good sense of humor!):)

I think that the major reason that I never embraced CS was that my mother had a tumor on her leg. It was there for as long as I could remember. It was very large--probably the size of a cantelope. I always wondered if she would die from it. I remember having a nightmare every night for several months when I was about 7 years old that she died. And I remember being in trouble for waking my parents up every night.

I always wondered why she wasn't healed of that. And I know that she always wondered the same thing. I believe that she thought she was to blame for her tumor. She was not a good enough Christian Scientist. And it ruined her self-esteem, which made her very prone to lashing out at everyone. You never knew what might set her off (which is never good as a child). Consequently, I never, even today, bring up sensitive subjects. I find myself completely unable to speak. A few years ago, she had the tumors removed (she developed more on her hands and face). But neither she nor my dad ever mentioned that she was going to have the surgery, and they have never, never talked about it. My sister was the first to see her after the surgery (they live across the country from me) and she said that my dad completely shut her questions down. He just said that they had decided to have it done, and would not speak any more of it. I have never had a conversation about it. She had that tumor for approx. 25 years.

I remember testing, in my own way, my parents' convictions of CS when I was in high school. I purposely hurt myself (hitting my wrist with a hammer, and saying I fell off a swing, cutting myself, overdosing on tylenol that I purchased at a convenience store) to see (I believe) whether they would take any notice. They did--sort of. But it was always addressed through CS. Then I developed bulimia. They knew, but couldn't deal with it. Until finally my father wrote me in college asking me to not talk to mom about it, but to write him privately if I needed help at his work address. I told him not to worry, but was so sad that he knew my mother could not handle the idea that there was something wrong with her "Perfect Little Child." I was not free then, but am today, through God's true healing grace.

I don't understand how my family could still, to this day, be so devoted to CS. They know that I am a Christian, but we never talk of it. We have a mutual "no church" policy when we visit each other. I know that this is not right--I need to speak the REAL truth to them. But I feel that it would be words pushed towards deaf ears. I can't see a way for them to escape. It would truly be God's miracle. I am so sad, because my mother still suffers from serious health issues. And total denial that anything is wrong. So I still watch her suffer in silence...on both our parts.

I apologize for the length, and appreciate so much this forum. If anyone has been successful in reaching parents who have been in CS all their lives, I would appreciate your guidance.

Newbie—Love, Sex, and the Christian Scientist

melissa_g — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 06:35:07 GMT

Hi,

My name is Melissa. I am a graduate student from the midwest. I am spending the spring and summer as an intern for a think tank in the Nation's Capital. Fortunately, a local family has been willing to host my stay so I didn't have to live alone or share an apartment. This family consists of Christian Scientists. I didn't know this until I came to live with them. The husband also works at the think tank with me. I know very little about the beliefs of this religion. I am not a Christian nor do I have any formal religious training.

Recently, their teenage daughter asked me to come to a talk entitled “The Straight Talk on Love and Sexuality” at a local Christian Scientist church. The speaker was a woman called Ginny Luedemann.This woman formerly sang with rock music artists like Janis Joplin, Jimmy Hendrix, and the Rolling Stones, or so she says. She is probably in her sixties now. She went to excruciating depths to tell us how she got pregnant when just a teenager, abuse she suffered from her alcoholic father, running away from home to become a rock singer, cohabitating with a boyfriend who grew up in Christian Science, her drug overdose experiences, and on, and on, and on. She would continually “diss” her alcoholic father. I got nothing from the talk, but the daughter and her mother (who also accompanied us) thought it was fantastic! They kept on talking about spiritual ideas which they said this speaker expressed. After the talk when we arrived at their home the teenage daughter showed me an issue of a magazine called the “Sentinel” which was also on the subject of the talk. Again, I got nothing from it. Alcoholism, drug abuse, illegitimate pregnancies, and dropping out of high school are nothing new to the secular world. I felt very sorry for this speaker. I think she could better serve her time getting a GED and a college degree on these issues. I''ll be leaving the family within a couple of weeks to return to grad school. I'm wondering how others who were raised as Christian Scientists were told about sex and handled sex related issues in their Christian Science homes and churches.

Thanks,

Melissa

Getting rid of my Christian Science books

Inexpressible Joy — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 01:23:18 GMT

A few years ago, shortly after I became a Bible-believing Christian, I took a "Precept" Bible study (inductive study method) class on I John where we discussed cleansing our homes (and lives) of all sorts of things that have to do with false religions. I had alot of what I thought was innocent folk art/jewelry, mostly from travels. Alot of it was actually demonic and cultic in nature. Once I realized I got rid of it. Soon I came to feel the same way about the CS books that I had - numerous S&Hs, Prose Works, biographies, We Knew MBE series, CS in Germany, all that stuff that everybody collected and much of which I inherited - it all started to bother me, too. I packed up the books in boxes to donate to the local reading room. Then a Christian friend asked me 'do you really want anyone to read that stuff?' and I realized, no I didn't; I had to throw it out. My friend said 'we should burn it,' but I thought that was too dramatic. So, I just took it out to the dumpster one day. Later I read in Acts 19: 19-20 (11-20 pertains, I think, to false practitioners) that a crowd of new believers, apparently convicted by Paul's teaching, confessed their former practice of magic arts (divination) and brought their books together and burned them all. The next passage says that the books were worth alot of money and then says "So the word of the Lord continued to increase and prevail mightily." "So" being a term of conclusion I take it that the word of the Lord increased and prevailed mightily in part because of their confession and willingness to burn these books. I don't say that everybody has to get rid of their old CS books, but I would definitely make it a matter of prayer.

I can well imagine what hardline Christian Scientists would say about this. But I also remember in Christian Science class instruction that my "teacher" told us 'never be too friendly with Roman Catholics or have them as servants in your home.' Nowadays I sure have more in common with Roman Catholics than I do with Mary Baker Eddy.

I still have the King James Bible that I used with its matching Science and Health. And it still has some blue chalk marks in it. It makes me sad to think how we read only the snippets of verses that could be made to sound like they agreed with Christian Science, and we rarely read whole chapters, and even more rarely whole books of the Bible. I often feel sad or even angry about being told so many lies and wasting so many years not knowing who God really is and what He has done for me personally.

Hi

sridatta — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 23:16:04 GMT

hi to every body in Christ name.

Wow!! I was so mislead/

C.S and proud — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 17:06:12 GMT

I can not belive this group of judgmental people call themselves the real Christians. I see why people leave C.S It is so much easier to give into the material world. Gl.. I wish you all the best. I thought this was a discussion group but now I understand it is just a Bashing sorta hate group. I will pray for you.

OMG. For 30 years I have been alone in this.

kedasong — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 15:57:57 GMT

When I was 21, my dad (CSer) died shortly after I came home from college and spent five days trying to heal him.

"Leaving" CS was maybe the most difficult thing I've done in my half-century on Earth. But speaking for myself: "leaving CS" is a relative term. So much of me simply IS and always will be what I learned of "man" and God in my first 20 years.

There has been lots of therapy (with good, smart, loving people who didn't have a clue), and lots of spiritual seeking and in the last decade, some deep spiritual peace and balance.

At the same time, something like a knife always turning and moving inside.

I'm sure my next self-introduction or perhaps my posts on various topics will be longer. But right now I just want to read what each of you has been writing, and start to actually comprehend that there are many of us, and that we can talk to each other.

My love to you all.

Ruth

A Reintroduction from Barb

Barb — Fri, 22 Jul 2005 21:30:40 GMT

Hi folks!

I haven't posted for months as I got really busy with a temporary teaching job. I missed this forum and would like to rejoin you all. As Linda has changed the design a bit, I thought I'd better briefly reintroduce myself because I don't know what would have happened to my former attempt at an introduction. (Can anyone enlighten me about where all the older entries are?)

Christian Science was introduced to me at age 10 by a well meaning family friend who was trying to help my mother back on her feet after a particularly traumatic family break-up . Mom grasped on very tightly to its seemingly positive message . As the only child left in a single parent home, I was taken to Sunday School and church for the next 8 years. Even while away from home at university I continued to attend services and Org meetings. Just recently I found an old journal from 30 years ago describing in detail what I was "learning" (and struggling with) in Sunday School at that time. Is it ever an eye-opener to rediscover one's old writings from a time when one was still immersed in CS. The style of writing is so obviously influenced by MBE.

While teaching in a remote community in northern Canada, I met aboriginal people who had willingly embraced Christianity - of an evangelical flavour. They would question my religious beliefs, as I was definitely not practising Christian values in my private life. At first I balked at their attempts to share the simple gospel with me, seeing their efforts as simplistic and beneath me (how condescending THAT sounds...yet fairly typical of a CSist's first reaction to the gospel message). To make a long story short, I saw Christ being lived out in these people's lives and was impressed that they had adopted what I would have then considered "white man's religion" by making it their own, despite the many failings of early missionaries' methods.

I believe that God allowed me to get out of my comfort zone to hear His fresh message of truth from another culture. It was there that I eventually "accepted Christ as Lord and Saviour" about 19 years ago. As the only one in the family to have taken such a radical step, it feels a bit isolating at times. My siblings and I are on good terms, as long as I don't "talk religion"! As for dear old mom, she's as dedicated as ever to her CS branch church, reading room duties etc. I love her dearly, and continue to share what we have in common, but it pains her that I have "left the fold".

Better sign off here. I'll try not to be so long winded, as I'd really love to dialogue with you all and I am aware that longwindedness is not easy to deal with!

Just registered. The ministry of this site has been an immense help.

Inexpressible Joy — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 17:41:28 GMT

My dear friends -

Jesus said, "No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him. And I will raise him up on the last day." John 6: 44. When I was still in Christian Science I would have left the second sentence of this verse off, as we had no respect for the context of a scripture, and it conflicts with CS teaching. Now I love the whole Bible and crave to know the context of a verse because I know its God's Word and I don't want to miss anything!

I shared this scripture because I was about to write that this web site/forum, The Christian Way, had a major role in showing me the fallacies of Christian Science. It did. But I also know that it is only by God's grace, by His 'drawing' that I was drawn to the true Jesus of the Bible and believed in Him as Savior God. But He used the testimony of Elaine Dallas to do that. It is one of the free recordings that Christian Way offers.

I don't know who left it at my house. Probably some Christian Science friend who thought I would get a laugh out of it, maybe, since we were often like wolves tearing apart the testimony of anyone who "left" Christian Science. The first time I listened to it I barely got 10 minutes into it and then pulled it from the cassette player and tossed it on the floor thinking "what lies!" I was so disgusted with it that I intended to step on it with my shoe and crush it, and I thought I had. But a few years later I found it again. By then I had briefly spent time with some Bible-believing Christians in India, heard their testimonies of coming to faith in Christ, and believed in Him myself.

Back home in the U.S. I came across this cassette again and suddenly it all made sense. Her research through the Scriptures to check on Mary Baker Eddy's use/misuse of verses and words was eye-opening. I listened to it over and over again. It was a huge step in my realizing that what Mary Baker Eddy taught as "spiritual interpretation" was neither spiritual, nor was it interpretive. Well, it may have been 'spiritual' in the sense of evil spirits, but not in the sense of the Spirit of God - the Holy Spirit. Interpretation by definition seeks to clarify, not to rewrite something. To clarify what something actually says, not give it new meaning. I wonder what Christian Scientists would say if someone studying Mary Baker Eddy's works wrote a "Glossary" to define her words and then gave them meanings that were contradictory to her usage or her own explanations of her vocabulary. Then told you to learn his Glossary meanings and remember them (not her own face value meanings) when you read her writings. But this is what she has done to God's Word.

I would welcome thoughts about "spiritual interpretation" from others who have seen the fallacy of it. When I witness to people who are still in CS I often try to show them how dishonest it is, and to have them read aloud whole chapters (for instance from I John) and then discuss everything that is written, not just the snippets that are pulled out for CS teaching and lesson sermons, etc.

So, I just wanted to say I am grateful for Elaine Dallas's testimony which was, in God's providence, left at my house over 10 years ago! I am grateful that Christian Way made it available. Grateful that God took the dishonest, hypnotic veil of Christian Science 'spiritual interpretation' off my eyes so I could read it and believe it - all of it - with no blue chalk to edit out the parts about sin! "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast." Ephesians 2: 8-9 It's not a result of raising your consciousness to the perfect Christ consciousness, either, as that is just more "works" from which man wrongly attempts to save himself and be his own god.

Just one more thing for this introduction and then I will finish. There is so much to share and to ask! And I know that if I read all the thousands of postings I will find that others have already expressed what I am sharing. I look forward to it.

Does anyone wish that for once, on a Sunday, in all the Christian Science churches, instead of reading I John 3: 1-3, that they would dare to read I John 1: 8-10?! Now that would make a great "Golden Text"! Or that they would publish a Bible that included only the verses that they believe? Nowadays I study mostly from an English Standard Version translation of the Bible, but occasionally I grab the old leather King James Bible to find something. There are still some verses marked in blue chalk from the old "Lesson Sermons," though the chalk has mostly faded. When I find that I usually stop and read the whole chapter around the blue-chalked verse, just to see what I was missing, or to remind myself of what a lie, what a "doctrine of demons" (I Timothy 4: 1, NASB translation) it is to think you can 'spiritually interpret' away the clear message of God's Word and insert the doctrine of men, or the so-called revelation of one woman whose whole problem seemed to be that she couldn't or wouldn't admit that she was a sinner who needed to repent and be saved. "If we say we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us." I John 1: 10

"Therefore, having this ministry by the mercy of God, we do not lose heart. But we have renounced disgraceful, underhanded ways. We refuse to practice cunning or to tamper with God's word, but by the open statement of the truth we would commend ourselves to everyone's conscience in the sight of God. And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled only to those who are perishing. In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, which is the image of God."

Blessings to all, with inexpressible joy in knowing Him, our Lord, our Savior, Jesus Christ.

Looking for help, fellowship, encouragement

Anonymous — Sun, 09 Jul 2006 16:24:03 GMT

It was with much interest that I found this site and forum.....and I believe that my discovery is without a doubt a God thing......I'm born again, having received Jesus Christ as my personal savior in 1986.

I am ex-CS, raised in the CS "church" via my mother; Dad was Methodist and took me to church with him sometimes. (For those who have posted in the Prin section, I'm US '69 and College '73.)

My mother is currently in a CS nursing care facility, after suffereing from what we think were a series of ministrokes on the 4th & 5th of July. Of course no diagnosis has been made.

What has been brought to a head over the last few days is my family's recognition that I have been acting in ways that show that I still am under the influence of the CS junk in my way of looking at things. It is hard to explain, other than I realize that I still am stuck with some of the "nothing in this world is real" dogma of the CS teaching. Many things have become clear to me and my family the past couple of days, prompted by my mother's sickness. (yes, she is sick! It's real, and she can't walk!) My daughter found an article on CS and why it is so wrong. This has lead to her and my wife's understanding that my harmful behavior has been a result of my CS background.

I have not "practiced" CS since my early teen years, if I ever really did... But the insidious doctrination of the "nothing material is real" and other ridiculous ideas still are embedded in me. I suppose I outwardly look like the CS is gone, but beneath the surface it's still there. It's down in there and I want it gone!

I want to find a counselor experienced in working with ex-cult members. Any help in that direction would be appreciated. I would like to interact with folks who have dealt (or are dealing) with a cleansing process.

Guess that's enough to start. I've enjoyed reading around the forum. Will continue to do so. (Just registered, so don't have my pw yet for full login)

Thanks for reading this......

stillhurting

How long ago did you leave Christian Science?

Anonymous — Mon, 14 Apr 2003 19:11:59 GMT

Just curious.

My Story

Mere Kat — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 20:46:42 GMT

I have been reading the posts here for the last several months, and have gotten a lot of encouragement from your words and shared experiences. It’s helpful to know that I’m not alone. Thanks to all of you.

I have recently joined the ranks of former Christian Scientists. I know my story sounds like a soap opera, but it has been a long, painful journey. I am not one of those lifelong, multi-generational Christian Scientists; I was raised in a different Christian faith, and did not even know CS existed until late in my high school years. Shortly after graduating from college, I married a lifelong, third-generation Christian Scientist, and I accepted her religion as my own. I didn't see any great doctrinal differences or conflicts with anything in my former church. And, I thought our marriage would be stronger if we both attended the same church. Remember how smart you were when you attained the grand old age of 22? That was me in 1978; I knew pretty much everything, or so I thought. It's odd how much I must have forgotten in these intervening years. I was wrong about the lack of doctrinal differences, but more sadly, I was wrong about CS strengthening my marriage.

Over the last 3 decades, I became quite active in branch and Mother Church activities. I was class-taught, held every available position in local churches including soloist and organist, and served at various times as state Committee on Publication and a CS Representative for a military base. In short, I was a dedicated Christian Scientist, thoroughly indoctrinated in the CS culture. Applying what I was learning, I had numerous healings and spiritually uplifting epiphanies. So, what happened? The short answer is: I finally grew up [spiritually]. But the growth required a few painful lessons.

The first lesson came through the untimely death of my mother-in-law, a devout student of CS who had helped countless others, but had been struggling with physical ailments for some time. She remained steadfast in her faith, denying her illness. As has been described in too many posts here, she suffered under the care of practitioners, and finally died while being checked into a CS care facility. We all were devastated. How could this happen to her? My wife sought comfort in her grief from a practitioner/teacher who was a member of her mom's church. (more on that later.) Doubts began to surface for me, but not enough to change my views on the relevance of CS.

The second lesson came when I learned, after nearly 25 years of marriage, that my wife was having an affair with the practitioner/teacher who had supported her through her grief. She was ready to leave me then, and would have, if only her lover's wife (yes, he was married, too) would throw him to the curb. Instead, his wife forgave him. The Mother Church gave him a slap on the wrist, removing his Journal listing for one year. (I think the Manual requires a minimum three year suspension, but who's counting.) An agreement was made that he would have no further contact with my wife, but that stipulation was quickly violated. Three months later, my wife left, refusing any and all offers of counseling or reconciliation. In short order, her new lover divorced his wife (who mysteriously died a short while later), and they were eventually married. He remains the lone Journal listed practitioner and teacher in his state. My ex tried to explain that God was making her do this –kind of an interesting twist on the old “The devil made me do it” alibi. That was strike two, but still I remained a strong supporter of the church, very active in my branch and community. I couldn't condemn the whole religion just because of a couple bad apples.

Meanwhile, I have also remarried. I met another third generation Christian Scientist at a CS-sponsored weekend seminar on marriage. Long before I met her, my wife had suffered from a treatable disease, but had chosen CS treatment over medicine. That choice nearly killed her, but at the last she consented to go to the hospital where good doctors literally saved her life. Even so, following her recovery she returned to the church, though now she has a healthier appreciation for medical science. Today she continues to struggle with feelings of guilt and attraction to the religion that almost killed her. But we are praying, and slowly but surely we are making progress toward a healthier and happier Christian way and a new church experience.

But I digress, -Strike three: After months of improper management in our local church, I paid a friendly visit to the board chairman and invoked the Matthew Code. I calmly identified a few violations of the church rules, and requested that he correct these errors. He seemed very understanding and cooperative. Next, in strict accordance with our Bylaws, I mailed the board a letter outlining a number of instances where we as a church were not following or enforcing Bylaws and Manual requirements. The next thing I knew, I was excommunicated! Board members fabricated charges against me, and refused to discuss anything with me. Ironically, they violated their own Bylaws by failing to follow the Matthew Code. And they lied to the membership, claiming that the Mother Church had sanctioned their failure to follow the Matthew Code. Talk about not following your Rule for Motives and Acts. This was possibly the most unchristian behavior I have ever seen.

And so, I was unceremoniously pushed from the nest, and after a great deal of reflection and even more prayer, I have to admit that was a good thing. It finally opened my eyes to the truth. I don’t blame the board members; I don’t blame my ex-wife and her new melty swoon boat hubbie/ practitioner/teacher. I do pity them. And I forgive them, because in a strange and completely unintentional way, they have helped me to move on to greener, healthier pastures. My experience has helped me to grow spiritually and get closer to God; it has restored my relationship with my savior, Jesus Christ. And it has made me a better man.

I finally sent a letter asking to withdraw from the Mother Church. Over one month has passed without any acknowledgement. I guess I will try registered mail next, or maybe I should just wait and see if I get another per capita request…

Thanks for listening..

God Bless you all.

Growing up under the shadow of Christian Science

in the light — Thu, 28 Sep 2006 03:59:48 GMT

I hesitated before writing this, but have come to a point in my life where I desperately need to share my story-
to beheard, to be understood, to know that I am not alone in my journey.

I am not and have never been a Christian Scientist, but have lived most of my life under its shadow, something I have only just discovered.

My grandmother was a devout Christian Scientist, described by my father as "fanatical about religion". He rejected all forms of religion because of it, left home at age 15 and had very little contact with his family thereafter. However, I have only recently realized that although he may have rejected the "God concept" involved with Christian Science, many of the other core beliefs within the cult persisted in my own family life. We were brought up believing that we were the "perfect family", and everything we did or said had to fit with this so called perfect image. In particular, any form of sickness or weakness was considered a failure. We were taken to doctors, but I always remember a sense of guilt and failure about being sick, and fear of being punished. "Mind over matter" was an important concept for us. I remember at school being guilty and frightened because of "failing" a hearing test and the school nurse writing home suggesting I be checked out by the doctor - then guilty because I had to go to the doctor and had an untreated ear infection. On a school camp I developed gastroenteritis and I was terrified of telling my parents, especially as a doctor had been called in to treat me. As an early teenager my unconscious belief in the power of the mind to overcome sickness was so great that I actually walked around for 3 weeks with a ruptured appendix and peritonitis - my life was saved (apparently within hours of dying) by a skilled surgeon when I was near collapse. Then when I was 17 my father developed cancer. My parents sat the children around the kitchen table and told us thaat he had teminal cancer and that we had to go away and forget about it and never ever talk about it to anyone. The sense of guilt and failure was enormous.

I have spent years struggling with these things, and especially with a phobic fear that God would punish me if I showed any signs of sin/weakness/failure. This irrational fear persisted long after I became a Christian as an adult and was baptised. I have battled and battled with it for years, and have never understood where it came from.

Over recent months I have again been crying out to God for healing from my "God phobia". I know about things like forgiveness intellectually, and have accepted Christ into my life. But there are parts of me (the weaker, vulnerable bits) that I have completely rejected and tried to hide away from God because of fear that He would reject me if He knew about them. Going to counselling has been good to explore some of this- and I have been encouraged to accept and listen to my feelings of fear and anxiety rather than fight them.

In doing this a few days ago a bombshell hit! Actually, I think it is really the power of the Holy Spirit working in my life. I felt a prompting that the key to my fears may lie in Christian Science. Up until then I had no idea what these people believed, just that they were some kind of fringe cult that my father had rejected, and that my grandmother had not believed in medical care.

I looked up a few sites on the Internet - and it was like all my childhood beliefs being replayed - about being perfect, denying and rejecting anything which gave an impression of being negative or weak, illness as weak and a failure, and something which should be overcome by the power of the mind, guilt about being sick and visiting doctors.

What a revelation! I always thought that I was the only person who had had these experiences. What a relief to finally know where it all came from! To be able to bring this into the light, to have knowledge and understanding about it - for me is to break its power, and goes a long way towards real healing - deep inner healing which is from the true God, rather than from the power of the mind and a false image of God.

Around the same time I also had a beautiful spiritual experience, in which I felt immersed in love - and had the certainty that "nothing could separate me from the love of God in Christ" - that God, through Christ accepted me WITH all my weakness and frailty - no need to run away and hide. I must have heard this intellectually a thousand times - but it has now moved from my head to my heart. After so many years I have been able to stop battling my fear, have been able to name, acknowledge and understand it - the relief is immense.

Does any of this make sense? I would love to know if others have had similar experiences.

In the light.

New here and wondering

nuhere — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 22:10:57 GMT

I am not a christian scientist but i do know several. I do not understand the religion they espouse and so i'm here trying to understand both sides.

live4him60s Introduction

live4him60 — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 00:27:29 GMT

Hi to all;

While I am not a current or former member nor do I think that currently I know any that belong to cs. I do believe that God is leading me to learn all I can for the day when my ministry is faced with this group. currently I have dealt with several cults and active members. I know that with my involvement in some of these and eventual salvation through Christ I may be able to relate in away to what many of you have gone through; I know many things are very different but some are very much the same. My hope is that one day when God brings this to me that I will be well equipped to help.

Buffie

How should I start?

concerned friend — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 12:38:31 GMT

I am so thankful that I found your site today as I was researching CS because of my new friend who is a faithful CS. I am an evangelical Christian who raised in a Christian home and am active as an adult in my local church (my children are college-age.) I have recently become friends with a woman at work and we have even begun to travel together. We are going on a trip with a long car ride in March. We have talked only briefly about our beliefs and mainly keeping it to "safe" topics and areas where we agree....morals, etc. I have been trying to earn her respect and trust. We have great open discussions about life. HOW SHOULD I START to discuss CS and some of its false doctrine?

Nancy's Introduction

Do_Go_Be_Man — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 12:27:50 GMT

Moved from [url=http://www.christianway.org/forums/FindPost14860.aspx]New to Forums -- Introductions and Personal... » Mark's story[/url]

Posted by Anonymous July 13, 2008 @ 3:04:16 PM:

I have just come upon the forum and am saddened and startled by the sincere suffering that seems to have come about as a result of too strict Christian Science upbringings. I can only pray that you honest respondents have not left Christianity, nor let the love of God leave your hearts.

You have addressed a problem that is real in your own direct way.

I am an author who has directly addressed the church from inside in a different way. I was not brought up as a Christian Scientist but became interested through marrying one. I was not interested in the bodily healing but found it worked well enough for me and my family (though if I had it to do over, I would have been much more quick to seek medical solutions for them that I was a couple of times.) I came, and stayed because it seemed and seems, without the healing which has come to be so all-fired important to everyone who calls himself/herself a Christian Scientist, a very deep way to practice Christianity, which I loved, every day.

i believe Mary Baker Eddy to be a brilliant Christian theologian who cut through the inhibited religious practice of her day to demand high levels of consecration to God and Christian practice. That's why I still stay with it.

Because I've been a historian of the American frontier for years, I began to closely study Mrs. Eddy's concept of her religion and its inception. I had come to feel strongly that today's Christian Science "practice" is only about bodily healing, that it often harms people, that it insists on enforcing through culture and group prohibitions a bunch of protocols which are clearly unchristain. My study showed that the early church, while emphasizing physical healing through prayer(a good enough alternative to the rudimentary and often failing medical practice of the 1880s) was really about healing mankind of all ills through the prayer of absolute faith in God as the spiritual reality in the cosmos. It is an exciting idea even today, one which can be imagined if one looks at such concepts as string theory, or at most Eastern religions. Early Christian Scientists were glad for the prayer healings, but they believed they were about delving into Christian reality--the meaning of the kingdom Jesus came from and taught about.

Anyway, I wanted to show CS got way off the track after MBE's death and got into this sad state of forcing people, literally, to die to show they were good Christians. My book is for Christian Scientists. Open the Doors of the Temple urges them to let people make choices, sincerely and clearly, about physical healing (they already are as one of you pointed out, for sure) and quite enforcing these cultural protocols. I called for my religious faith to quite forcing people to suffer; it is completely unChristian and against the earliest meaning of the church. My contention was that Mrs. Eddy would be horrified; that's provable by many letters she sent to people telling them to seek aid if they were unable to find physical help through prayer. And do it quickly; she saw that it was very detrimental to have people suffering and dying and completely inhumane.

Of course.

The book is in its second printing and I have had letters and calls from all over the country saying, "We feel this way too." A new feeling and saying is prevalent now among many churches and even officials "CS is a religion of choice." I insisted along with others in my church that we encourage people to feel well, seek their own physical healing, talk about it with all of us so we can help, and get on with being good Christians relying on God as our All the best we can. Which probably isn't very good but we're trying.

So dear correspondents here, don't throw us all out with the bathwater, though I can easily understand what you are saying and feel so sad you went through it. We're not all crazy and I for one will not stand for a moment for someone's suffering over a period of time when they can take a tylenol. The mysteries of Christian pefecting along our life journey are not about whether one sniffs up a nasal spray or not, whether one gets a heart stent. Lots of us are doing that now as a matter of fact and holding our heads up to those who think it's all about "sticking it out no matter what." Pooh, I say, on that. Move on, my fellow religionists. Love you all out there-- [Smile]

Nancy Niblack Baxter

just got here... glad to find all of you!

jennifer agnes — Sat, 21 Feb 2009 00:43:44 GMT

The discussions and questions bring back a lot of memories. I was 4th generation, and my kids were the 5th generation of Christian Scientists in our family. One Grandma was a Practitioner, but before her death in '83 was going regularly to a Wesleyan Methodist Church.
The other Grandma was brought in at 17, much against her will, by her mother -who had been into Spiritualism.
I was late in joining - I was 13. Since then I have often wondered how many 13 year olds are prepared to evaluate a religion for truth or lack of it? I'd been studying CS since I could read, and grew up in the Sunday School. I only went to Prin for kindergarten & 1st grade, and cried when my parents took me out. There was so much love and kindness there... unlike home. And public schools weren't warm at all.
As a parent, since then, I've learned that the home problem had a lot to do with Asperger syndrome, undiagnosed. There were other things, but they would have taken a lot of behavioral therapy to fix. Dysfunctional doesn't begin to describe it. However, they did get better over the years. My older brothers didn't outgrow their jealousy or cruelty until around 18 years old, and my little brother didn't calm down until they did. I won't go into details, but I know that whatever church had claim to these kids would have had their hands full. I've since dealt with 1 kid with Asperger's, and I know 3 would have been next to impossible. It took from the time I was 10 until I was 14 for them to really start to calm down, and act like civilized relatives. That was one of the biggest answers to prayer I'd had.
Still, I didn't know until 17, when I left home for good, what it meant to be treated well. I got permission to leave by applying to Tenacre for the Nurses' Aide training program. Loved it.
I married a Roman Catholic in 1984, with the understanding that we wouldn't try to covert each other. That didn't stop our parents from trying! His did it by just living their Christianity (and loving us). Mine was subtly preaching to him in every letter or phone call. Fortunately, he didn't notice until years later!
It was on an exchange of favorite religious books with a friend, that I first read "More than a Carpenter" by Josh McDowell. Jesus really God? OMG! And yet, it was still over a year from that, when I finally knew I had to leave Christian Science for good. I couldn't sit there any longer and listen to him put down, when I knew who HE was. And I knew I needed baptism.
The final nail in the coffin of my old beliefs was Habakkuk's discussion of how "God is of too pure eyes to behold evil,..." The day I opened to that, and read the context, I realized it wasn't what I'd been taught to think. (But I won't ruin it for you.)
My sister in law had been challenging me for years, and in the interest of converting her, I'd listened to her objections and explained them all away. This chapter from Kingdom of the Cults, particularly came up, so I let her send me a copy, and we talked. She wasn't equipped with the Bible knowledge I had (or the pride!), but she had the basics. Years before when my husband had answered my question on something key to Christianity, I remembered thinking, "I wish it were that simple." And doubting it of course. So anyway, after this bit from Habakkuk hit home, I knew if that pillar of our teachings had cracked, there would be others. It was simple logic.
There was another bit, but it wasn't as key as this. Oh, well maybe. Any book that alluded to deification of Mrs Eddy didn't belong in the Reading Room - or if it did, I didn't.
That was the big turning point. I was overjoyed that I didn't have to be perfect anymore. I worked on trying to master the emotions that came flooding up. Then came the free-fall, trying to patch together medical care for everything that was suddenly coming up. Partial paralysis of my hands (from repetitive strain injuries before they knew what they were), Sciatic nerve problems, and knees that hurt like the blazes... back & neck...(pinched nerve & arthritis) and so on. And as that slowly came into place, and I learned how to talk to doctors, I found I was nearly incapacitated. Didn't dare use CS treatment, since I didn't want to go back. I couldn't. And so, I'd switched the translation to New American Bible -for Catholics, and started daily study of it, and its footnotes. I went for the training for Catholicism. No I didn't know right away that it was the church for me, but eventually I knew. (that's another story)...
Instead of pursuing healing, I tried the opposite, and accepted all that happened, and offered it up. I didn't reinstate any prayer styles or habits that weren't provably Christian. Some of that took years to track down, too.
Well, there's a lot more to it, but that's the base part. Whenever I asked God for help or guidance, there was always something. A book, a person, money on the ground (for food), or something. I knew I hadn't left God, and certainly hadn't lost Jesus. I'd found him.
There was a time that I had to pull back from contact with my family of origin, due to their responses. Fortunately, it came to an end. And equally fortunately, they grew some from it too. It wasn't just me growing.
I think the thing I detested worst about the denial feature was when it was obviously misused, as in justifying maltreatment of someone (often me or little brother), or justifying some neglect. Fortunately, I learned from the mistakes of my parents, and broke the chains as soon as I found them, to do better for my kids and husband than what I had experienced growing up. I made it my business to read all the self-help books that applied to anything about me. I'm not sorry. My husband has had tons of patience to make it through all this still smiling. My kids are delighted with their lives. I can't say how happy I am today, but I am. There are difficulties, sure, but they're balanced with lots of warmth and joy. If this reads like a testimony, maybe it's ok to consider that there are Christian churches out there who give witness & gratitude too.

New to Forums -- Introductions and Personal

anony mouse — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 12:47:43 GMT

I am a former CSist and concerned member of a family who used CS to hide their sad and cruel dysfunctions. I have been through a lot of reprogramming over the past years but CS still has strong tenicles of denial in me at times over circumstances that sound so unbelievably shocking that I don't know what to do. I have need of support from those who can understand the deeply rooted and complicated issues of the CS syndrome because I am so frequently stuck with issues from my three CSist brothers' children who also left the CS church, and aren't doing very well in their recovery or in their relation to me or other family members. Without these young people I would be totally without a family and I can't bear the alone-in-the-world feeling.

The cause of my post today is this: I have been stuck with information regarding one of these CS Practitioner brothers that I can no longer sweep to the back of my closet. It feels like my closet is on fire.

The brother in question is a Christian Science practitioner and First Reader in his Church (with access to children, I might add). I know him to be emotionally, mentally and gender messed-up. His experience with women has been so sweet and kind and yet he hurts them/me/us all in the long run by being terribly condescending, insulting, thoughtless, exploitive, opressive, deceptive and chauvanistic. His divorces have been long drawn out battles over custody and full of rigid meanness followed by blame and denial and more blaming the victims. Which leads me to believe some of the horrifying accusations that one of his daughters made against him regarding being molested by him over a period of time (which in my mind coincides with the year that he was between wives and very needy.) The daughter also insists that he has improper stuff hidden in a box.

He accused her of lying of course, and insisted that she was under the influence of malicious Animal Magnetism so now the family has withheld any interest and support for her. The pressure got so great that of course her grades fell in school and eventually she dropped the charges against him. So he is off freely running to Asia now and then "to buy products to sell in the USA to help the craftsmen in little towns in Korea etc." My strong suspicions are that he is going on child-sex vacations due to the way I heard from our dad that he set things up. Disturbing set-up.

I have to ask myself why would my niece make up such horrible accusations against a father who loved her so much???? In C.S. they talk about "Knowing the Truth" but I have to ask what truth? Will we ever know whether my niece is lying or my brother is lying and that my brother is a danger to young children and that I am a bad woman for not hiring a detective to spy on him.

And another disturbing part that hits so much closer to home ... what are the CS adults in my family supporting unwittingly or otherwise?

Thanks for reading this, and hopefully you have some insights as what moves I could make and where I can go for helpful ideas on what to do, say or think. I have prayed about this for several years and only now felt strong enough to deal with it. I post this today because I have studied the stories and replies on this website and I highly respect the quality of thinking and concern of people here. Except for one thing I want to make absolutely clear to all practicing CSists: I do not want a practicing CS to reply to me under any circumstances, so please respect yourself by respecting my request.

Thank you,

A. Mouse

Finally Registered

Elbee — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 21:32:04 GMT

I've been lurking here on almost a daily basis for a couple of months now. At the risk of sounding like a Wednesday evening testimony... I'm really grateful to have found this forum!!

It's been a couple of years now since I last attended a CS church, but it's only been within the past couple months that I've withdrawn my MC membership and started to explore other religions beliefs/churches. I've found though that after completely ignoring CS and religion in general for two years, I have a lot of baggage from CS that I never realized was there. In essence, I've been living in denial... a "natural" coping mechanism I apparently picked up from years of Christian Science lifestyle! It feels as if I have to de-program my entire way of thinking and viewing the world!

The concept that currently eludes me is the idea of a Trinity. I just don't understand the idea that God is three different persons but one being. How is that possible? I feel stupid for not getting it - but after years of being told that Jesus is not God, and reading Bible passages that refer to Jesus as the Son of God, I'm really struggling to understand this core Christian concept. I'm hoping that somebody here could take a stab at explaining it, or recommend a book/website/article for me.

Hello From Elijah_101

Elijah_101 — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 07:05:14 GMT

Hello, I'm new here, You can call me Elijah, It's Nice to meet every one..

New and have questions

Pooh Bear — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 01:48:28 GMT

I found this site while doing some reading about CS. My sister in law has been diagnosed with ovarian cancer which has now spread to other organs. She was married to my brother who died in a car accident 7 yrs ago. My brother was not a CS but my sister in law was raised and still follows the teachings.

Anyway, others in our family could see that she was losing weight and looking a bit sickly. We saw her occasionally at family weddings and baby showers. She would not talk about it when asked. Now that the cancer has spread, she called from the hospital to say she was sick and hospice has been visiting her. I guess she had surgery a yr ago to remove her ovaries but that the cancer had already spread. She wouldn't allow any treatment such as chemo but is now on morphine for the pain.

Since I know nothing about CS other than what I have read, it seems she must have been busy praying away her symptoms and when they got so bad she finally went to see a doctor. Once she was told she had terminal cancer she kept it a secret because ??? ( don't know) Does she feel responsible for her cancer? Ashamed? How is she dealing with taking morphine when she would never even take an aspirin for a headache? I just don't understand. I am afraid to say anything because I don't understand. She says she is not afraid to die.

Can anyone help me understand the CS way of thinking in regards to her dire situation?

New to Site

B. Robson — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 02:53:59 GMT

Hello all. I have been visiting this site on and off for a while now and am so impressed by the compassion of the members. I left CS in 1980 after being a member of TMC for about 8 years. Class taught by Corinne LaBarre C.S.B, I worked at the CSBA in Brookline in the kitchen for 5 years and had started sharing an office with a practitioner in Boston while working at the BA.

I am certain it is necessary to start to tell my story- to finally have someone to talk to who can understand the feelings of guilt and failure I have had for 28 years since leaving CS. The feeling that it was my failure to understand/demonstrate.

I look forward to moving on.

Bruce

my friend

DianasFriend — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 19:33:30 GMT

One of my dearest college friend's was a devout Christian Scientist. Two years ago, she passed away at the age of 35. She had three years of being terribly ill, but feeling as if God had deserted her. I miss her.I'm slightly in touch with her sister and have heard from her parents. But it's different, it's not the same as if she had died and I could call them and chat. IT's as if it's better not to talk about her. THis makes it even sadder. She was brilliant and loving.

Thanks for listening..

Hello from California

Catholic — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 15:59:22 GMT

Hi.

My name is Terry, and I'm from Northern California. I'm a conservative, Republican, And a Catholic (Roman Rite). Strongly Pro-Life and Pro-Family.

Glad to be here. :)

It took me over 50 years to recognize the abuse of denial

dancinqueen — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 14:32:46 GMT

Hello all, I'm new here. To introduce myself:

I was an abused kid, abused by denial of any and all pain, sickness, hurt feelings, etc. In my family, (I had a father, but my CS mother was "in charge" and aggressive, while dad was passive and easy going - he sort of laughed at her CS beliefs, but did not protect his children from her abusive denial of anything "negative". Anything "negative" (hurt feelings, sore throat, broken bones, large, gaping cuts, etc., etc.) were denied and ignored! If they could not be completely denied (like blood and large gaping wounds, or severly swollen & bruised ankles, etc.,) they were downplayed as, "minor" and were "treated", minimallually (band-aids) - or in serious cases, by a "chiropractor" who was "in touch" with CS and who was happy to charge $$, for x-rays for CS people. This chiropractor "treated" my mother for an ulcer for many years - until it ruptured and threatened her life, at which time, she asked to be taken by ambulance, to the hospital, where surgery was performed, which saved her life. She then claimed that if not for CS, she would have died. Her prayers and her mother's prayers, saved her - not the doctors!

I am over 60 years old and just now realized why I was hospitalized in the 80's for "depression" (a pretty complete nervous breakdown) and why I have had anxiety my entire life. I am working at getting over the anger I have at CS.

All my life my mother called me "depressive" and "negative" because I recognized reality.

Interestingly enough, most people who know me find me to be a fun, positive person.

I'm happy to have found this group and look forward to learning from all of you and to new friendships.

Just jumping in ...

Do_Go_Be_Man — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 09:22:18 GMT

[b][Moderator's note: moved from Recovery and Health Issues » When health becomes an obsession][/b]

Anonymous Posted August 5, 2008 @ 12:14:11 PM

Hi,
I'm just jumping in. I just found this site today. I am relieved to find a place where people might understand what my life has been like.

I am a fourth generation Christian Scientist, raised in the church. In a way, because my parents were not rock-solid CS (they drank wine), I became even MORE of an adherent to CS in rebellion. I joined the Mother Church and branch church at 12. I went to the Adventure Unlimited camps at Buena Vista. I went to Principia College for my B.A., and then went through class instruction. I was second reader at my branch church after I got married to a wonderful man I met at Prin, also class taught.

Then it fell apart. My husband had been struggling for years with homosexuality. He prayed, he sought help from the church and practitioners, and all they would tell him was to pray and be healed, and, essentially, marry a nice CS girl. He loved me, but eventually he had to be true to himself, which I support. But neither of us had any kind of support or knowledge of how to deal with the grief of divorce and failure, much less after suffering a miscarriage shortly before we separated. I was so stunned to think that I did everything "right", that I thought this marriage was truly a demonstration of God's love, how could it possibly fail? What did I do wrong? How could this have happened? And my ex struggled with self-acceptance plus the guilt over hurting me and breaking his vows, plus the very non-CS life of a gay man in our society. The church offered nothing to either of us. We both left the church, but felt cast off and adrift, having no idea how to live in a world that was nothing like what we'd been taught it would be.

Eventually, my ex returned to the CS church. He told me he found a tolerant church in Atlanta (which I find hard to believe! But if he was happy, that was fine with me.) I never returned to the church. I more and more began to realize how much "blame the victim" thinking there is. If you are healed, it's due to God and Mrs. Eddy -- if not, well, you just don't have enough spiritual understanding, and you "let the error into your thought." I have struggled for years to understand that life just happens to people. Every failure, from cancer to a flat tire, cannot be ascribed to my faulty understanding of spiritual reality. Sometimes you just run over a nail, for crying out loud!

Back in the CS church, my ex of course had no medical checkups, so he did not know he had Hepatitis B until he collapsed one day and was rushed to the hospital with liver failure. He was put on the transplant list and had to take a battery of pills and follow a special diet. He struggled with this in a way that was so painful for him -- he had more than enough stress to deal with, but the extra stress of fearing that he was not being healed because he was trying to combine CS and medical treatment was overwhelming. He struggled with the fear that his being gay was "letting error into his thought", thus he had "let" the hepatitis into his experience. And his ambivalence about the medical treatment caused him to sometimes ignore it in favor of prayer. In the end, he died just as a liver transplant was made available for him -- his body just gave out.

I have seen two uncles die under CS treatment -- one of leukemia, the other of something never diagnosed. My grandfather also died of something undiagnosed but being "treated" through CS.

I do believe spiritual healing sometimes works. The mind/body/soul connection is complex and we don't understand everything about it. But to insist that you must choose between medical care and your religion is downright cruel. The idea that the church, which should provide support and spiritual comfort, offered my ex nothing during his great struggles in life, makes me so angry, and yet having also been raised in that church, I can understand why he still went back to them, finding perhaps some comfort and connection to his mother (who died while we were at Prin, again of something undiagnosed while being treated through CS.) My ex did not even know how to grieve for his mother -- he was expected to be "healed" of grief.

In the wake of divorce, loss, grief, I have sought out the compassionate fellowship of grief counselors and fellow grievers in support groups, and learned to my amazement that emotions are normal, grief and loss are part of life, and that I did nothing to deserve this. Grief and loss are not punishment for "erroneous thinking", they are part and parcel of being human, and they teach us how fragile life is, and how important compassion is. But denial seems to be the watchword of CS. Although my old college friends of course were sympathetic when my ex died at the age of 50, they did not seem to know what to say about him, my gay ex-husband who was having medical treatment for a life-threatening illness. My friendship with some of them was deeply strained by their refusal to discuss my feelings of grief, and their discomfort with my support of his acceptance of his homosexuality. My ex's gay friends, who took me into their hearts and shared my grief over his loss, gave me far, far more than the church ever did.

Thanks for listening -- I can't believe I left the church back in 1984, yet the effect of CS still gets to me sometimes. My grief counselor called my feelings "complicated grief" and "disenfranchised grief". My family is similarly unable to process grief. I was asking myself just this morning what it is that seems to keep my anger and grief alive -- in stumbling over this website, I think this is what I have not fully realized, the anger I feel over the broken promises of Christian Science, and the damage it did to my life.

Another story

Linda — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 09:05:25 GMT

IleftCSin74 had some problems posting his story and then a followup post, so I am postingthemat his request. -- Linda

Moderator's note 3-17-09: Some personal information has been removed at Mark's request. The deleted information has been replace with ****.

[b][Moderator's note: message deleted by IleftCSin74's special request][/b]

New to Forum....Inzane99

inzane99 — Mon, 26 May 2008 16:09:26 GMT

Hello all,

Someone suggested I start a new topic to I guess introduce myself and my background in CS.

I've already posted in a couple of different topics here and will try not to repeat myself.

I've read quite a number of posts here and am happy to knpw there are others who were subjected to the same catch phrases like "know the truth" or "it's in your thought" or "mortal mind". I thought my mother was the only one who talked liked this until now.

One quick story of CS at work. While playing basketball in the 9th grade I severely sprained my ankle and was in extreme pain. The referee from the game drove me home as my parents never or rarely came to my games. When I got home my mother was unsympathetic and told me to "know the truth" and this never really happened. The next few weeks I was made to walk to school which my foot swollen and discolored. I always made to believe I did something wrong or if I denied hard enough it would dissappear. It wasn't til years later I had to have my leg X-rayed and the tech asked me how long ago I had broken my ankle as she could tell by the way the bones had healed. Boy, was I jacked! Knowing my own mother wouldn't seek medical attention for me and made me walk about a 1 mile each way to school on a broken ankle. So much for divine Love...they should have one called divine Endurance or divine Torture. I think in my parents case it would be called divine Deception.

Anyway after forgetting most of CS teachings... reading these posts and recalling some of CS belief system I'm curious why there isn't a mass exodus from this farce. To think there is no sin, no judgement, no heaven no hell...just what is the point of a CS life here on earth. Oh that's right .....there is no earth and we're not really here. What an absurd viewpoint and to base your whole life's existence on this premise...WOW....no wonder my parents can't find peace.

If any of you are practicing CS I pray for your eyes to be opened to the truth "that the Lord loves you and wants you to accept Jesus, His Son and his death on the cross as payment for our sins. It is a free gift...can't be earned...only accepted by faith.

Hey, I didn't sign up for CS, I was born into it. What's your excuse?

Inzane99;)

Marital struggles now after leaving CS

sespe1844 — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 19:40:23 GMT

I just found this site. I was raised Catholic but met a Christian Scientist in college and became hooked in CS from 1985-2002. I wonder sometimes if any other former members have had my experience: I made a decision as a CS to get married to a non-CS who knew right off CS was false but as my wife she let me have the experience while reminding me it was not for her nor for our kids when we were ready to start a family.
As a new CS person, I thought by marrying a non-CS person I could save them and show them the meaning of Truth - little did I know. Now, since coming out of CS in 2002 and being completely free and committed to a life with only Scripture, I reflect on my marriage and see how todays problems are born of choices from back then. Has anyone had similar problems? I would like to hear from you.

Jeff S

New member-coming to terms with grief re. CS

Rosebud3 — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 11:09:59 GMT

Hi, I am rosebud3,

Glad to have someone to talk to. My father was CS before I was born but quit due to a health related experience he had so we were raised Presbyterians. My father's brother and family are CS. To further complicate this I am a medical nurse and was in the midst of a migraine and serious emotional turmoil the last time I saw my Uncle. This was over 10 years ago. I was sitting beside him at Thanksgiving dinner and I could see all the symptoms of a heart condition but did not tell him. Within a year he died of heart failure. When I was there the family seemed to be trying to heal me and it did help, but I also felt de-valued, not only for some of my life choices but also for the thing that I did have to offer that I didn't share that could have saved his life.

There has also been another early unexplained death in their family and I feel guilty and invisible. There is a lot wrong in the medical world too and I have been studying CS for 2 years, made some friends, prayed with a practioner and even recently was thinking about class. This may sound odd as of the 2 deaths I mentioned but having experienced healing in CS and loving my extended family so much I thought perhaps something would come out of this that would benefit all. Then I wrote to a practitioner that I truly felt God was leading me to, even though I didn't particularly care for some things I had heard about this person, and the practitioner said teaching me wasn't the right step for the practitioner. Later I found myself grieving my Uncle's death again and understanding God to say to me that Love is the most important . It is like looking at a circle and Love is the center and all action needs to proceed from that center but I can't seem to move or connect , find the tangible direction to take.

I just wanted to connect and talk about this because I think it is what I need to do. There is a lot more where this comes from. Thanks for being there.

Introduction message posted by cunninghambruce

Do_Go_Be_Man — Thu, 01 May 2008 14:30:22 GMT

[b][Moderator's note: This message was originally posted by cunninghambruce in the [url=http://www.christianway.org/forums/FindPost14519.aspx]New to Forums -- Introductions and Personal... » New member-coming to terms with grief re. CS[/url] thread][/b]

Posted May 1, 2008 @ 3:43:00 PM
cunninghambruce
Newbie

Greetings. I am new to these forums.

I love the idea that God loves us all, unconditionally, irrespectively of where we are in life. Of what church we attend, or even no church. We can never be outside of His/Her love. And He/She offers us spiritual solutions to all our problems. If you have a problem, She has the solution. By the way, you will notice that both the masculine and the feminine are in the 'She.' I feel it is our task to be humble and open enough, and spiritually curious enough, to reach out, open up our thought enough to find these, solutions. We all, myself included, have so much more potential than we may realize. Finding and living our boundless potential can be such a wonderful, even fun adventure. There is no limit to what we can do when we have dedication and commitment, pure and loving motives, with a wide open thought.

Bruce of San Francisco, CA

Bruce Cunningham

Hello! My name is Jim and I'm an ex-CS!

bbqsmith — Mon, 02 Jan 2006 19:59:20 GMT

Never been to an AA meeting but I understand that's how one introduces oneself! I found this forum quite by chance and have been reading posts all afternoon. Figured I may as well tell my story and see what happens.

I was raised in CS but never really ever understood it's teachings. My younger brother and I attended SS every Sunday with our parents attending the "grown-ups" service. We were even taken on Wednesday evenings where we were left in the care of Mrs. Laird at the church nursery! As I got older Mrs Laird still kept an eye on me while I did my homework out in the Sunday school room. I'm 51 years old and still to this day remember those boring two days of the week. Dad, I know now, only went because of Mom who is still a Journal listed practitioner after forty plus years. Dad left the church after he and Mom divorced some twenty years ago and my brother left seven years ago, much to the disappointment of Mom. I, on the other hand being the rebellious teen I was, quit attending church at age 16. However, since CS was all I had ever known, I tended to call on Mom when "the need arose." That came to a dead halt in 1981 when I suffered a ruptured appendix. I remember asking my wife at the time to call Mom. She came over and was sitting on the bed with me "knowing the truth" while I was screaming out in agony. Our neighbor, who worked in a Dr's office, came over to check on me. She took one look at me and called her boss. He told her to get me to the ER immediately and he would meet us there. I agreed to go and will never forget the look on Mom's face. She had dissapointment in her eyes, but did not attempt to stop me. The neighbor took me to the ER where her boss was waiting. He ordered immediate emergency surgery to remove the ruptured appendix. I spent 10 days in ICU recovering from an illness that would have surely killed me had I not received the help I needed when I did. Mom never visited me in the hospital and never mentioned the insident again. That single incident convinced me that CS was not the way to go but talk about a guilt trip I've indured for years!

Though the guilt has subsided over the years, it has been replaced with resentment and anger. At 14 my grandmother "passed away" and I never really knew what killed her until recently. She died of uterus cancer while under CS treatment. She opted for medical treatment towards the end, but it was too late. The same happened to my beloved aunt, Mom's only sister. She died of breast cancer five years ago while under CS treatment. She too opted for medical care much too late. Mom said she didn't have to die and I'm thinking, you know, your absolutely right...she didn't have to and wouldn't have had she received proper care. Now I'm dealing with the possibility I may never see Mom again. She checked herself into a CS nursing facility four weeks ago with a "problem" I have since learned she has had for some time now. Of course, she won't speak to me but does talk with my brother almost daily. However all he can get out of her is that the staff is "taking care of me." We do know she has "let go" her long time friend and practitioner and replaced her with "someone closer to the area." What difference is that supposed to make? She let her go because it isn't working so now Mom is seeking help from another who can't do anymore than the first. I now carry the date of Dec. 3, 2005 as possibly being the last day I saw my mom alive.

I'm glad to see the number of CS members declining. Too bad Mom has to die to further that decline.
Thank you for letting me vent. I'll be back to vent some more as the memories emerge.

Jim

Hello from a new noob

outertrial — Sun, 15 Oct 2006 14:21:27 GMT

Hi

Id like to introduce myself to the forum. I'm from the UK. Grew up with my mother and grandmother, my mother was a committed CS my grandmother was not and was very suspicious of it all. My mother died after a very long wasting illness ending in pnuemonia, when I was 18; shortly before this my grandmother died in hospital from Alzheimers.

Like many people Ive been reading about recently right up until the end my mother was always convinced a healing was just around the corner and alternated between resenting herself that she wasnt cured and resenting me that I wasnt using my 'abilities' to cure her.

I'm 31 now and am only just coming to a realisation about the harm this religion has done to me psychologically and that I am nowhere near being over it. I had a sort of epiphany when I was 17 and realised that it was all bunkum, that was a great relief at the time and I thought Id just be able to walk away from it all, but you cant, not when its been ingrained for so many years since birth.

Christian Science was a sick animal here even when my mother was alive. The Church we used to attend was populated largely by very elderly frail ladies. We started going to another one in a bigger town that was populated by slightly younger less frail, elderly ladies. I would be very surprised if either churches are still around now so its not like Ive got this big target to get angry at now.

I've realised that I still feel guilty when I get sick or things arent going right. I had so many years of growing up believing that I was totally in charge of these things its difficult to deprogram it. I also think I blame other people for their weakness without realising it. Im trying to change but theres a lot of yarn to unravel in that particular ball of thread. Mostly I feel angry at my mother for inflicting it on me, and herself. I keep thinking how could such an intelligent woman have believed such hogwash.

I think of when I'd seen through it and the stand up rows we had at the end as I tried to get her to see a doctor that only made her last few months miserable and I resent myself for it.

I should mention that I'm not a Christian, nor is there any likelihood of me becoming one. Its just not for me, though I respect everyones right to practise their own religions.

Thanks for reading.

New to Forum

peperpat — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 07:19:32 GMT

I am not a CS but have a 93 year old aunt who has been in CS for about 50 yrs. While searching for healing 15 yrs ago, I delved into the world of CS and tried desperately to claim a healing. Praise God that He directs our path and I chose Him instead. My aunt lives far from me but I am her only relative that she speaks to. I feel an urgency out of love to witness to her, but am met with MBE quotes at every turn.

I did try to join the local CS church years ago when searching for healing but was told I could not join as I was taking medication, and could only join if I was medicine-free. I found this ironic because the lady who was teaching Sunday school to my child was herself in a wheelchair and could not walk! That is when I began to search the Bible and the Bible alone. I was also told that only after becoming a member I could, if I chose, take medicine. This made no sense to me.

Thank you for this forum.