 Posted Friday, April 28, 2006 10:52 AM
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My mother has been frail for a while, but now is swollen arms and legs, and perhaps lungs and heart. I have no idea, but she cannot care for herself, can barely eat, and doesn't want to. She cannot breathe well and is not speaking well, because of the breath issue. (She's only 61)
My dad took her to Peace Haven, a CS facility with nothing on hand to treat anything, and I do not like the place. It's where they take everyone suddenly, and then they don't come out. Both my grandfather and my grandmother have died there.
Last night, I had to go to my non CS grandparents (in their 80s) and explain my mother's condition and why she lied to them about being ok, and I had to explain, as best I could about why they will not use medicine. I am a born again Christian and have zero faith in Christian Science. I do have faith in God, but I can't see how he would heal her - if he does, the glory would go to CS.
So I'm praying that He will speak to them clearly and reveal the truth to them - that my mom will cry out for medical help before it's too late. And that He will allow me the opportunity to present the gospel in a way they can understand.
I really want to know what's wrong with her and how long she has. My Dad is with her, life-long CSer and he is so afraid of losing her, but he never breaks in his devotion to CS. Neither one will talk about the physical symptoms and they do not believe it's serious. They think she'll come home Monday or Tuesday.
hcover
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Posted Friday, April 28, 2006 2:17 PM
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| hcover, I am so sorry and I will pray along with you. I will pray, too, for your comfort.
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Posted Sunday, April 30, 2006 4:28 PM
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| You have my prayers too. Please keep up posted.
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Posted Monday, May 01, 2006 3:29 PM
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Mom's condition is worse today. She is disoriented , when she can speak, and mostly, she can't speak. She is still swollen, now unable to hold her cup or napkin. They are force feeding her, but she has been complaining that the food burns on the way down. Today, I noticed a cough - a very weak low cough, and a rasp in her breathing.
I read to her from the Bible when I visited today. I read a few chapters of John and a few chapters of Romans, but she was mostly drifting off, and not coherent to understand it, plus it's King James version, so how can she take it in anyway, even if she were well.
I spoke with my dad who expressed again how hard this is for him, but how he must stick with what he knows. I am hurt, but want to be loving and supportive. I don't expect to give up my faith when things look hopeless, so it's hard to expect my dad to.
I continue to pray that God will reach out directly to my dad and speak to him in a miraculously clear way as to what the truth really is. And I pray that he eases my mom's suffering and speaks to her as well.
My 9 year old prayed at dinner tonight that grandma would get better and be able to go home and that they would use medicine if they needed. What a sweet prayer it was, but it's in God's hands, for His glory.
Thank you for your prayers.
Holly
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Posted Tuesday, May 02, 2006 1:54 AM
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She died sometime during the night. Thanks to my CS upbringing, I don't even know what to do. My dad asked me to come with him to pick up her things. My aunts on the catholic side of the family want me to be sure they can get the body, so they can give her a proper burial. How does that even work. And should I call her now? Or should I go back to sleep - already tried that. I can't sleep. I should not go to work. That's OK, I've been leaving sub. plans every day, suspecting I may need them. My husband said we should tell the kids and keep them home from school. I don't want to tell them. They've been praying for her to get better.
I feel sick. I want her back - the way she was. I did everything right the last time I saw her - and I knew. I think she knew too. Poor Mommy. She was hurting so when I saw her.
Poor Dad. He was so calm when he called me. I wonder how long it took him to get that way. And still clinging to CS, he assured me that nothing could separate her from the love of God and that God is love. Those statements are biblical - but highly annoying and misapplied. I hate their rote phrases they repeat everytime "there is a need." But it's the only confort my dad knows.
I'm sure God answered my prayer and did speak to both of them and did ease my mom's pain. But Dad probably labelled it as mortal mind and ignored it. And in the end, Mom died from loyalty to CS - probably thinking all the while that it was loyalty to God.
I'd like to go to sleep for a few days and wake when all this stuff is over, but I can't sleep. Plus my eyes and nose keep leaking. And I have to make a bunch of phone calls, but it's too early. Nobody else is awake.
Holly Behring Cover (hcover)
4th generation CS - and last - glory to God!
Prin Upper School Grad. 1986
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Posted Tuesday, May 02, 2006 4:21 AM
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Holly,
You have my sympathy. My own parents are deceased, and I know how difficult the experience of losing a parent can be.
You mentioned that your aunts want to give your mom a proper burial, but you are not sure how that works. In most states, the immediate next of kin (in this case, your dad), has legal authority in such matters, so if he agrees to your aunts planning your mom's funeral and burial, he will probably have to sign some papers at the funeral home giving authorization to go ahead with their plans.
I know that there are many details to care care of at a time like this, which I think can often in itself be a kind of therapy. The funeral director you have selected can be a big help in answering any questions you may have and helping with the planning and details.
Sincerely,
tmcl
tmcl
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Posted Tuesday, May 02, 2006 6:53 AM
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Dear Holly,
I am so sorry to hear about your Mom. I still have my mom, but my dad has been dead for a long time. It's not an experience you ever forget. When my father died my mother didn't want my children, 7 & 4, to go to the funeral. It would make it all too real for them. Since I was still in CS at the time, I went along with my mother's wishes. I would never do that again. I don't think my oldest, now 38, has ever forgiven me for that.
I will continue to hold you and your family in my prayers, especially your dad. As you know, God does answer our prayers. We should never stop praying for others. And what a wonderful thing it is to pray for others! Something we never had an opportunity to do in CS. I pray God's peace and comfort for you all.
Blessings,
Susan
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Posted Tuesday, May 02, 2006 8:50 AM
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Holly,
I am so sorry for your loss and how you're feeling. You have my prayers.
Please contact me at do-go-be-man@nc.rr.com if I can provide any advice on dealing with funeral matters.
Do Go Be Man
<><
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted."
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Posted Tuesday, May 02, 2006 9:33 AM
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Holly,
My heart and prayers are with you as you go through this. Go ahead and feel what you need to feel, cry when you need to cry. Allow people to minister to you, and be good to yourself as you go through this time and all it will involve.
I'm a "huggy" person, and I'm sending you a big one! ( )
Linda
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Posted Wednesday, May 03, 2006 3:46 AM
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