 Posted Thursday, February 08, 2007 8:42 PM
|
|
|
|
My heart is very heavy tonight. My CS grandmother is very sick. Of course we have no idea what is really wrong with her, but I am afraid, from her symptoms, that it is a simple fix. Gradually she is becoming weaker and not eating enough to sustain life much longer. Today she had half a poached egg and half of a new potato. Unfortunately she has decided not to seek medical attention and will be leaving for The Leaves in Dallas on Saturday. My mother does have her power of attorney and we are hopeful that should her condition deteriorate we can then take her to a hospital. We are just really not sure what to do for her any more.
I know that from the bottom of her heart she believes that she is following God’s will. It is just tearing me up that she is possibly going to die from something that is not currently life threatening but has the potential to become so quite quickly. I also am really struggling with the sense that she is NOT asking God for healing but knowing that she is not really sick, when she is REALLY sick. I am trying to hold on to how much she loves God and not how much I want to sit down and hate CS. It is impossible to explain this to the “outside” world. Unless you have studied this you just can’t understand.
Anyway, we could really use all the prayers you can throw our way.
In Christ,
Renee
|
|
|
Posted Thursday, February 08, 2007 9:16 PM
|
|
|
|
| I can feel the frustration and pain in your words. You have my heart and my prayers. Linda
|
|
|
Posted Friday, February 09, 2007 3:45 AM
|
|
|
|
I wish that we could help them see that all of their knowledge of Christian Science comes through the five physical senses - and those same physical senses tell us that doctors and medicine can help us. Christ talked plainly about good things only coming from good sources (in two different places, off the top of my head). And the book of Ecclesiasticus (Sirach) in pre-reformation Bibles talks plainly about doctors and medicines coming from God.
Another angle: How can going to a doctor hurt? Perhaps she could go into the doctor to "prove its nothingness"; Mary Baker Eddy herself did this with some substances.
I'm sorry, I know that neither of these arguments are likely to sway your grandmother. Spend as much time as you can with her now, and tell her that you love her. I will pray for both of you!
Birdstrike
|
|
|
Posted Friday, February 09, 2007 3:50 AM
|
|
|
|
P. S.:
I will find the Bible quote on doctors/physicians and post it in another thread.
Note that there is NO official Bible in Christian Science, so perhaps it can help.
Birdstrike
|
|
|
Posted Wednesday, February 14, 2007 12:23 PM
|
|
|
|
Update:
I will try to keep this short and sweet it just seems like there is so much to say.
My grandmother is back from the Leaves. She just wasn’t happy there. They woke her up when she sleeping and tried to make her eat. There was no T.V. and she hated the comforter. I know that sounds ridiculous but whatever. She is now at my mom’s.
She is still not eating properly at all. Mom and her brother sat down and figured out when all of this really started and on Sunday we will be at the start of week 5.
At first I was so frustrated and angry I could barely think straight. I am no longer angry at all. I know how much my grandmother loves God. She is willing to die for Him. I know that she believes that by going to a hospital she would turn her back on the Lord. I know that's not the least bit true but I do have the utmost respect for it. That being said, this is getting old. She has my mom going in 14 different directions and the great-grandkids upset. My oldest daughter, when I was trying to explain things to her, just looked at me and said, “Are you just going to let her die then?” She expects me to do something. I know how she feels.
It’s like being tied to a chair next to someone in bed. You know they need water, food and attention but there you sit reading the S & H on your lap. You don’t ask what they need, they don’t tell. You know you should do something but you can’t. It is utterly the most frustrating event in my life. I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs that this is just insane. Where is the line in the sand? When is time to say ok this healing is not being met and it is time to get help? She wants to go home and the CS nurse is trying to find just a CS caregiver, but all of that is costing a fortune.
I don’t want her to die alone at home with no one there for her. At the same time I don’t how much longer we can all keep this up. I know that she feels like she has the right to do whatever she wants. It is her body and her faith, etc. The problem is that this is becoming very selfish on her part. It is almost like a drug addict or an alcoholic saying they are not hurting anyone but themselves. Wrong, this does affect the whole family. We are all hurting for her while she lies in a bed and starves.
Sorry for the rant. Some prayer request, huh?
|
|
|
Posted Wednesday, February 14, 2007 1:38 PM
|
|
|
|
Renee,
I wonder what your grandmother would say about the fact that many members of my CS church suggested I was eligible to take class again because my CS teacher chose hospital care at the end of his life. Don't know if it's a helpful suggestion to try to relate that abstract case to her specific case. Maybe she would believe I should have applied for a new teacher too, especially given my current heretical position.
In the meantime, I continue to pray for all generations of your family.
Do Go Be Man
<><
|
|
|
Posted Wednesday, February 14, 2007 2:34 PM
|
|
|
|
I could not even begin to guess how she would respond to that. I do have a question though.
Could my mom or my uncle be held somehow legally responsible for the fact she didn't receive medical treatment should she die?
She is visibly weaker today. Can't sit up in bed, etc. Mom is going to have a serious talk with her either tonight or tomorrow about seeking some kind of care. I just feel like if this was horribly serious she would have already passed. I told my mom today that if it is something awful like stomach cancer, then fine, we will bring her home to die, but if it is something simple and she is just going to starve to death it's just not even remotely ok
|
|
|
Posted Wednesday, February 14, 2007 2:44 PM
|
|
|
|
| Renee, Please disregard this if it is not helpful, but I wonder what she would do if you laid it all out for her: -- She has not gotten a CS healing. From all appearances she is dying. -- You suspect that her ailment could be easily treated with medical care (you suggested this in your initial post). -- Her needs are placing overwhelming strain and demands on her entire family, including children who only see this as evidence of the basic insanity of CS. -- You love her, respect her wishes, and want the best for her. But she needs to love you, respect the needs of her family, and want the best for them. There needs to be some sort of compromise since she has not met the problem her way (no judgment here; just statement of fact) -- She is welcome to have CS nursing care at home if she can afford it. Otherwise, she needs to decide what she will do (go back to the CS facility, go to the hospital, have hospice care, go home and die with no care, etc.). But what is going on needs to change because it is not working for anyone. My guess is that, if you don't draw some healthy boundaries, she will "use you all up" in her quest for a CS healing. Love and prayers, Linda
|
|
|
Posted Wednesday, February 14, 2007 7:45 PM
|
|
|
|
Renee, I don't know that the legal implications of the choice to refuse medical treatment have ever been discussed on this forum. I don't think, though, that her family members need to be concerned about that. She is an adult, and apparently lucid. Records will show, too, that she sought 'treatment' in CS, including at a CS facility.
I think Linda gave you good advice. I have often thought that, if I had it to do all over again, I would be much more forthright with my mother (same situation) about the pain and anxiety she was causing the family. It can be done with respect, but I believe it needs to be said. In a way, once we become parents we are responsible for making choices that take into consideration the feelings of our loved ones, as well as our own. I would also stress to her that it is never too late to change her mind, and that you will all do everything in your power to make the medical experience easier for her. I think that the fear of medical treatment felt by Christian Scientists who are sick and vulnerable is underestimated. At this point, she may be operating as much out of that fear as she is from her convictions.
What a sad situation. I will pray for all of you, and honestly, my heart goes out to her.
|
|
|
Posted Thursday, February 15, 2007 12:26 AM
|
|
|
| | |