 Posted Thursday, June 05, 2008 12:53 PM
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| Dear in the light, The name of the CD is "one moment more" and the musician is Mindy Smith. It was put out by Vanguard Records in 2004. I don't know if it's still on the market or if she did more. I think this was her first. It is kind of country-pop-folk type music. There are also just some basic ballad type songs on it. I think this kind of music is nice because it tells a person's story and then we can share it with them. Often it makes me feel less alone to know that someone has been through the same. Psalms in the Bible is like that too. My favorite Psalm is 139 and of course, 23.
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Posted Thursday, June 05, 2008 9:16 PM
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| Thankyou Rosebud 3 for the name of the CD. I will try and track it down through Amazon.com. I am feeling far more peaceful. I think reading some of the recent posts has helped me to understand far more of my Dad's religious conflicts after leaving CS - it truly is a religion which can have some bizarre and painful effects, which go on for years. I am having a sense of Christ gently holding the pain and blackness I have internalized through unconsciously absorbing these conflicts as a child - He is not asking me to cast it out, but to allow Him to gently hold it and allow his healing light to penetrate it - very softly. Even though I am a mainline Christian now,and truly know the love of Christ in my life, after all these years I still find involvement in any church difficult,and unconsiously approach them all with the same hypervigilance that my Dad had towards religion. It would be great to be able to relax and really enter into and enjoy a Christian community. in the light
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Posted Saturday, June 07, 2008 8:18 PM
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in the light,
I have been carrying this stuff around for so long, and now it is bursting through to the surface - like a huge black boil which needs to burst in order to be healed. This is in addition to my very profound awareness of God's love and acceptance of me with all my pain, which Zoraean so wonderfully reminded me of. Does any of this sound at all familiar? Yes, it does sound familiar. I have found that when people have deeply painful, unresolved issues, the issues can stay burried for a long time. Then there may come a time when the issues bubble to the surface in response to some sort of trigger and are difficult to control until they are dealt with. In my case, I went through two major phases of my emotional healing process after leaving CS, the first immediately after leaving CS and the second beginning about 10 years after leaving Christian Science. In both cases, I was functioning normally on the surface (most of the time) but was plagued by a relentless, excruciating sense of anxiety that wouldn't go away until I recognized and dealt with some key issues. Your "bursting through to the surface - like a huge black boil which needs to burst in order to be healed" describes it pretty well. Like you, I was keenly aware of God's love (and definitely his protection and guidance), but I still had to work through some pretty heavy stuff in order to find emotional wholeness. Some of my story is posted here on the Christian Way web site. I am having a sense of Christ gently holding the pain and blackness I have internalized through unconsciously absorbing these conflicts as a child - He is not asking me to cast it out, but to allow Him to gently hold it and allow his healing light to penetrate it - very softly. I'll pray that God will bring the emotional healing that you need. The journey can be tough, but it's wonderful to feel God's care throughout that journey.
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