 Posted Thursday, December 04, 2008 3:50 PM
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| Hello and Welcome! Its good you have come to this site. I also would recommend you read a lot of the posts here. You will find validation for all your feelings, as so many have felt the same as you do. This may give you the strength to forge ahead. Since your children have had other changes in their life its a good time to forge ahead with this one too. I dont think it would be good for them to see you wavering or doubting, then they will doubt. If you are strong in your convictions then they will feel more confidant. I agree that its your job to instill values in your children and you have learned from your life experience that CS is harmful, so its your job to redirect your children. It shouldnt have to be overnight, but I would also agree that you need to see that they stop the reciting. A frank discussion with all of them is a good idea. Square Peg
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Posted Thursday, December 04, 2008 3:52 PM
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I took my three children away from a Christian church and back to CS sunday school when I returned to it. I feel real guilt about that now. They were in the CS Sunday School into their early teens, and then as I started drifting away, they attended less and less and stopped going altogether. I left CS four years ago, and told them the reasons why (too many reasons to tell now) . But the interesting thing was, that with two of them, they turned round and said that they had never really believed what they were being told in sunday school anyway. Its as though they had actually worked out for themselves that it was not quite right - perhaps God was actually working behind the scenes all the time. The eldest one had accepted it, and found it quite a shock when I told him what I had found out about Mrs Eddy, etc - but he was in his early twenties by then, which helped him to deal with it, and was also very busy in his life in the world. Just thought that this might give you some hope - God can always do much more than we can imagine!
Starfish
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Posted Thursday, December 04, 2008 4:06 PM
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My heart goes out to you. I remember so clearly when I was in the process of leaving Chrisitian Science - I was feeling the exact opposite of peace; I was so confused and torn apart it was driving me crazy. Finally I just had to give up. I got down on my knees and prayed to God to just make it clear to me what the truth was and what I should do because I simply didn't know anymore. Then the peace came.....
Eph 2:14 For He Himself is our peace......
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Posted Friday, December 05, 2008 5:08 AM
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The passage mentioned above regarding peace is also found in John 14:27.
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Posted Friday, December 05, 2008 6:11 AM
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I have been right where you are. The bible says that God is never-changing,soveriegn,loving,mericful,just,and Christ has promised to always be with you. These are real truths to meditate on from God's word. I explained to my children that I had been taught CS and I realized after reading the bible that what Jesus said was very diffrent from MBE. God has a way of bringing you comfort and reassurance from scripture. For instance , Hebrew 12:2 Let us fix our eyes on Jesus the author and perfector of our faith,who for the joy set before him endured the cross... Wow Christ is the author and perfector our your faith and considered it joy to endure the cross. I pray that the Holy Spirit will bring you scripture to share with your children that is reassuring.
Saved by Grace
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Posted Friday, December 05, 2008 6:48 PM
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Grace,
Thank you so much for your loving reply, it was so nice to read it after the bad day I had today! Nothing major, just started out bad, with everything going wrong, and stayed that way until I decided I was tired of being grumpy.
To add a few more details about our situation, we moved away from a large CS community where my children all attended a CS school. My entire family is in our new location, so I sometimes feel as though we moved 'out of the frying pan, and into the fire'!
This move was due to a job change, and it really has been such a blessing for all of us. I no longer have to work to afford the giant tuition payments, and we spend MUCH more time together as a family now which is wonderful. My husband loves his new job and I am loving being more involved in my childrens' lives than I have been able to be for years.
The hard part are the questions from family members as to why we never go to church anymore and etc. I haven't felt like making a grand announcement that I'm not interested in it anymore. I guess I'd rather they suspect that I'm the black sheep of the family, rather than confirm it! Haha.
I have had some frank conversations with my mother, who will love me no matter what decisions we make. However, I can sense that she feels we're wrong, and that is what I really hate and want to avoid with the rest of my family. This is probably a conversation for somewhere else, but why is it that all religions feel everyone else is wrong and they are the only ones who are right???
I am so embarrassed to think how judgemental I myself used to be, and I didn't even realize I was doing it until I have been away from a large CS community for a while. I'm certainly not condoning immoral or amoral behaviors, but I do think that everyone deserves to be respected and loved for the good that is in them. I am having such fun just appreciating everyone I encounter, rather than feeling worried they are judging me because I haven't had a healing or didn't go to church last week, or one of my kids did something 'inappropriate' in class therefore I'm a terrible parent.
Now that I have wandered all over the place I'm going to wish everyone a very happy weekend.
Cheers to everyone!
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Posted Saturday, December 06, 2008 1:29 PM
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I think you are very wise in taking such a loving and patient approach to your family. When I left Christian Science I lived in Idaho while most of the rest of my family was in Michigan and other parts of the country. I wanted to share the amazing change I had gone through and was so excited that I had really found out about the truth of the Bible ......I wrote a 10 page letter that explained in great detail what I thought was wrong with Christian Science and sent it to everybody along with a box of tapes (from a great org. called "Firefighters for Christ" which provides free christian tapes/CD's). Well, needless to say that went over like a lead balloon....I had not taken the time (actually was afraid to bring it up) to talk with my brothers and sisters or Mom and Dad individually and naively thought they would just read my letter and everything would be as clear to them as it was to me! That didn't happen.
It took a long,long time to make up for that and demonstrate that I really was sincere and not just going through some fad and it wasn't just because I wasn't disciplined enough to handle CS,etc. They did not understand why I felt the need to attack CS just because I had found something else. I look back at that letter now many years and I still believe everything I said is true, but the timing and how I said it was all wrong. I meant well.....
The really difficult thing is that as much as I wanted to get along with everyone and as much as it is my nature to do so and avoid conflict....it actually isn't the loving thing to do. Christian Science and other religions that distort the Bible make people feel good but actually keep them from finding their way to Jesus. The mistake I made I think was not waiting until I had a better understanding of what I really believed and had a chance to live it for a while.......Later on I didn't need to force the issue so much because I could simply talk about what I was doing in Church Ministry or learning from reading the Bible or how God had worked in my life or what I was learning in adult sunday school or bible study...... and ask and answer questions as they came up. Even so, it was still really hard.....
I don't know how you should handle your family.....it has to be one of the most difficult things. Even though I still struggle with my siblings, I have really been blessed to see God work through in my children. All three have gone to Christian colleges; my two daughters are married to christian guys from great families....my three grandchildren have christian fathers, mothers, grandfathers and grandmothers. My son is involved full time with a ministry called "Surfing the Nations". I say this not to boast but because I don't know what would have happened if God hadn't reached out to me as I believe He has to you.
Well, this is probably a whole lot more than you want to know but I have been thinking about you ever since I first read your note. I hope you do have a very good weekend and thanks for being willing to share what your going through.
Brian
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Posted Sunday, December 07, 2008 4:03 PM
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I have so much to say, especially now that there are a number of people considering leaving CS that are posting. Don't know where to start but here's my attempt.
My husband (raised strict CS) and I (definitely not CS, never have been and never will!) have come full circle in dealing with this horrible cult. When we were first married, his controlling mother was terrified of me as they lived in the typical cult bubble and I was a rare outsider now entering their inner ranks, so to speak. She hated me and continued to control my husband in order to keep him in CS fully.
I spent many sleepless nights worried about some of his physical issues. We have children and, one of my smartest moves in life, was to insist they be raised in my "normal" religion. He agreed and, I believe, deep down was relieved that his children would not be subjected to what he went through. Anyways, we argued, fought, etc. about his health. I always said he needed to have a harsh awakening of some sort of health scare in order to bring him to his senses.
Long, long story short. That terrifying health incident happened a while ago. After being treated by a doctor and visiting the ER of a hospital (after a week of, you guessed it, unsuccessful work with a practitioner), he regained his health. He now takes medication when needed, has an annual doctor's visit, watchs his diet and eats better than most people, exercises, etc.
Our marriage is rock solid now. We are so happy together and he, truly, is my best friend and life partner. We have been to hell and back because of CS. I would need to write pages about his mind control journey out of CS. It was a lot of work but we did it! I think his health scare was the best thing that could have ever happened to him. He now acknowledges his material body's needs and takes care of it. He is happy, healthy and an active father. He was taught doctors and hospitals are horrible places. Now he realizes they are not.
I would encourage anyone with children to get out of CS for a number of reasons. I remember one of my husband's friends telling me when we first met that he was a melancholy person. After getting to know my husband well and learning about his dominating CS mother's effects on him, I understand what he went through as a child, teenager and young adult. He considered himself and was often considered by others as "different". Do you want your children to feel this way as they enter the larger world? That was one of the points I made with my husband as we discussed our children's religious upbringing. CS children are considered "different" and feel so. I doubt many would argue this point both within and outside of the cult.
Also, from a practical standpoint, do you want to continue/bring in your children into a religion that is dying? 30,000 or so members in the U.S., most of whom will be gone in the next 15 or so years. I look at my husband's churches (there were several as they kept closing), who would my children have participated in Sunday School with? One other child in the entire SS? What would our children be participating in 20 years from now? Long distance over the Inet Sunday religious services from home as there will be no CS church around here?
There are so many great, HEALTHY religions in this country of ours. Save yourself and your children from a lifetime of differentness, physical misery and psychological pain. Please, please make the journey out for your children!
God bless you and I will be praying for you.
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Posted Monday, December 08, 2008 9:37 PM
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| For all you "Anonymous" folk out there-- hey, register a user name and stick around! And we can get to know you better individually, too! Anonymous poster, just above: You use the statistic "30,000" for current US CSists. Did you come across this number somewhere, and if so, where? Or is it a personal guesstimate? ...just wondering. Now, to the issue of exiting CS. Since it is now Advent (a classic Christian term not used in CS, i.e., Christmastide), you are presented with a very opportune season to start new traditions, associators, and memories of a more Biblical and authentic Christmas understanding. Go for it! Even if (and maybe, especially if) gift-giving has to be modest because of financial restraints, you can focus on learning and re-experiencing the Christmas story with a new understanding and zeal. So read the nativity narratives in Matthew and Luke completely,* as opposed to Lesson-Sermon excerpts. Get new Christmas music with intelligible words, so you can hear the traditional truths that have made them durable and great. This will begin the displacement of CS "spiritualization," of Scripture reading, religious music, etc. Go do www.christianbook.com and poke around for Christian/Christmas titles that will bring you closer (in understanding and your emotions) to the authentic Jesus of history, eternity, and the Bible. This is a great time for a spiritual turn-around! *I recommend a modern translation, such as the NIV or the RSV. Staying with the KJV may prompt you to reading a CS interpretation as you encounter familiar verses. Something modern will help break that. But I emphatically urge you to avoid careless paraphrases, such as the "Message" or politically motivated gender-neutral editions.
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Posted Friday, July 24, 2009 10:35 PM
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| To Gentle Dove, I love what you wrote. We have discovered many of the same things. Your words capture the conflict between the "mental gymnastics" of CS, and feeling loved personally by God who loves this "material world" that He made: "You will be sparing them the same "mental gymnastics" which have troubled you so. They will have an opportunity for a personal relationship with God and a healthy perspective on and appreciation for this "material world". Ultimately, they are God's children and He is their Shepherd."
I owe CS a lot, but my heart is crying that some things are wrong. This is supporting my own need to find freedom to hear from others who have been through the same thing. No one can help me who has not stood in my shoes. It is easy to mock CS from the outside, but it helps no one. Dave Christensen
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