 Posted Wednesday, January 21, 2009 8:32 PM
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Moderator's note: Peggy-Sue posted the following as part of Post 15506. I have moved it here since it seems like a good topic for the Recovery category. -- Linda
Maybe you can help me....I am still under bondage in a lot of ways from CS. I am slowly becoming free. I feel depressed and afraid a lot. It's not suppose to be that way when we a true Christians. How did you overcome fear and bondage from CS that is if you have? The tapes from Christian Way really helped me. Especially the interviews with Dr. Walter Martin on the cuklts. I am slowly coming out of the fear..but it's not going as fast as I'd like. I find myself still trying to work my way to God and feel down on myself....Peggy-Sue
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Posted Wednesday, January 21, 2009 8:43 PM
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| You're not alone in having to deal with these feelings -- it can be a struggle. Can you give examples of what's triggering the fear?
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Posted Thursday, January 22, 2009 4:25 PM
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| Linda: Thanks for responding. The thing that triggers more fear (I'm always fearful. I've never feel truly free) is the thought that maybe I'm not saved and the Rapture will go by without me. But I know this is crazy because I have accepted Jesus as my Lord & Savior and I have repented of my sins. I have studied prophecy for the last 2 years. I know that my eternity with HIM is safe but I still have fear about it. I don't know if this makes sense or not. I sometimes feel like an outsider and that HE is the Lord & Savior of everyone else but not for me. I even said to my husband a while back that sometimes it's hard to believe that one man, Jesus Christ died all people for the forgiveness sins by Grace. It's to good to be true! If it IS true, which I know it is, then all saved must love HIM tremendously. I catch myself sometimes mentally thinking the Scientific Statement of Being! I don't even realize I'm doing it until I'm in the middle of it! As soon as I realize what I am doing I stop quick and tell Satan to take a hike. Catching myself like that makes me feel trapped in the bondage of CS jargon.
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Posted Saturday, January 24, 2009 7:27 PM
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Peggy-Sue,
We're happy to be able to minister to you in these pages. Thanks for opening up.
There is a great, great deal that can be said, and will be. Since I tend to be long-winded (common to those of us from CS) I'll try and be succinct. My first thoughts:
1) Continue to pray. Since you're seeking God's blessing, rather than "affirming" it, this, like many other things, is new. Strange, even. But go ahead: you're doing the right thing, even if it doesn't feel that way.
2) Time. Every mile and month you put betwen you and CS makes you stronger and healthier. Trust me!
3) I am in law enforcement, and deal fairly often with battered women. Elsewhere, I have drawn parallels between abusive religion and abusive relationships. There are many common dynamics. In both, the victim often has litttle first-hand knowledge of what a healthy relationsip/religion is really like, and doesn't know how to "navigate" it. Thus there is a large "unknown," mysterious factor. And we naturally fear the unknown. So it's tempting to go back to what is known,even if it has been harmful and painful!. This is not logical and sometimes tragic, but that's the way it is. These things have a hold on us.
Breaking free from dysfunctional and abusive relationships involve stretching one's emotional (and in your case, spiritual) boundaries. Also you need to learn a new "love language," i.e. means of experiencing and communicating your spirituality. Try to keep yourself exposed to those people and things that are whole, wholesome and healthy. Similar to recovering alcoholics, you want to purge from your life and environment those people and associations which cause you to identify with the old self. This will be hard, but do it. Start by throwing out all your CS books and stuff, and finding good replacments. (You can poke around www.christianbook.com for starters.)
Minimize your exposure to Christian Scientists, if possible. You can't shun family, of course, but be careful in your dealings with them. Try not to discuss religion for a good long while.
Get a Bible in a modern translation and read it--it's not too late to start a daily "Bible-in-a-year" program! (Check the thread, "What Bible do YOU read?")
And, like the widow who wanted justice from the unjust judge, keep pounding on the door to Heaven with prayer!
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Posted Monday, January 26, 2009 3:12 PM
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| Thanks so much for these comments. Well taken. I will do them. However, the CS books have been long gone!! Peggy-Sue
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Posted Saturday, February 21, 2009 9:02 AM
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It's OK to just go all out and believe him! That really helped me. I asked God what else I needed to do, this sort of thing kept popping up in my reading. Part of it is to come to Jesus; the other part is to believe in him. Maybe there's a prayer battle in there.
We want to stick with Jesus all the way. Double-mindedness, doubt, fear, these are things St. James talks about. If we're going to believe God, it's all the way! Wishy-washy, lukewarm, timid faith isn't the full membership. One book I read was titled, "Lukewarmness, the devil in disguise" and it pointed out that for Christians there's no sitting on the fence. Catholics pray for God to increase their faith, their hope, and their love. It's part of the Rosary prayers.
When I'm painting, and I get that old fear, guess what? It means I'm on the right path and just afraid of messing it up! So I've learned to acknowledge the feeling, and move ahead anyway. In fact, I welcome it! It means I've got something good going, and I don't want to lose it.
When your inner child has fears, it's good to find out why. Then you'll know what to do about it, or if you just needs to be reassured, and plug away anyway. Faith, some say, is believing when you can't prove it for sure... or can't see clearly... I have to have the trust of a child when it comes to Jesus. He really does want us all in heaven with him. When I'm still uneasy, I go back to his examples in the Gospels. There's the one who was forgiven much because she loved much. So when I'm afraid, I go about my business with MORE love, and figure that will help one way or the other. Not a bad plan: whenever you're worried or afraid, LOVE MORE.... Most likely that same love will crowd out the fears. St. John said it was the answer.
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