 Posted Sunday, April 05, 2009 9:22 PM
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Hello Everyone,
It has been quite some time since I've posted anything here, but I truly value this forum. My concern today is for the health of my dear, aging mom who is still in CS. She is 88 and until this time has enjoyed good health, but now is concerned about stomach pain that isn't going away. As you can imagine, it takes a lot for a staunch CSer to admit out loud that they're concerned about a condition. She chooses to live on her own, near her CS church community, rather than relocate to be nearer family. All of her children live far away and we take turns visiting during the year, but she is alone at present, dealing with this new concern.
As I have not been in CS for the last 20 years, my mom knows that she can freely share with me about her physical condition if she wishes. But she stops short of telling me all the details, for fear of making too much of a "reality" of it. She has lost her appetite and I sense that she is in more pain than she's letting on, and is consulting a practitioner, but it's not subsiding permanently. It's hard to know how to help her from a distance, other than through prayer, so that is what I'm asking of any of you who may feel led to pray for her with me. In the past, on this forum, there have been some really compassionate responses to others who have had to walk through hard times with their CS loved ones, trying to respect their wishes as they've faced scary physical symptoms. So that's why I turned to you folks. Any words of wisdom? Thanks for listening.
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Posted Monday, April 06, 2009 6:36 AM
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I will definitely pray for her, for healing, comfort and peace, and for friends to come alongside her to help in practical ways.
Since you asked for a bit of advice, too, this is what I think I might do if I were you: I would tell her that you have been reading a good deal recently concerning the use of medicine by Christian Scientists. Tell her that Scientists today seem to have a different understanding of the use of 'temporary means' and are more freely using pain medication and even forgoing the practitioner if necessary. Remind her that she could still certainly pray for herself.
If you could convince her to let you come take her to a compassionate MD, preferably one who specializes in geriatrics, she may be able to begin a course of pain medication that cures the problem at the same time. For example, Carafate is a medication which coats an irritated stomach lining, such as is found in gastritis, providing a protective barrier against acid and thus allowing healing. That is just an example. Hopefully, you could find an understanding doctor who would attempt a measure of pain control and a course of meds based on her description of symptoms, without insisting on tests.
If she does not want to see a doctor, perhaps she would agree to home visits by a home health aide to help with meals, etc. while she copes with it in her own way.
I will pray for you, too.
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Posted Monday, April 06, 2009 11:36 AM
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Dear Rising Sun,
I will definitely hold your mother up in prayer for the next couple of weeks. I went through a similar situation several years ago with my own mother, who was actually age 89. Mother's mental, emotional, spiritual issues were the shame she felt in telling me of her problems although she and I had both left the CS church long ago. It was compounded by her other two CS practitioner children who lived nearest to her who kept reading the lesson to her (her only way of getting any love or attention from them at all was to sit and listen to them preach CS to her.)
So we all have our struggles with CS even after we wish to stay away from it. My prayers go out to you for the dynamics of the CS issues as well as for your mother's health and relief from pain.
As for the stomach pains, I have a bit of insight into that since you asked for a bit of advice because most of those problems are very common and not dangerous if treated in a reasonable amount of time ..... my mother's battle with stomach pains lasted 3 weeks; and I got on the internet behind the scenes and examined dozens and dozens of websites regarding gastric problems and the consensus seemed to be the same .... there is no real medical cure for anything stomach related (other than surgery if that is called for, which is so rare even at age 88, but I would not rule that out because I am not a doctor.)
But God in his grace had provided a natural cure which comes in 4 parts: plenty of water between meals; charcoal tablets/capsules which absorb the nasty bacteria and bad acid stuff inside the stomach; pro-biotics which comes in the form of high quality yogurt and Kefir or little capsules/tablets which really helps the good bacteria do their job; and natural digestive enzymes which come in capsules/tablets. All of these are natural things and do not come under the title of practicing medicine.
Once I talked my mother into swallowing these things at every snack and every meal (reminding her that it was not medicine) she responded very well so that within 2 days she could sleep at night without waking up in pain and in another week the problem was very remarkably relieved. It is said that the lack of digestive enzymes makes our stomachs vulnerable, and once we have had a problem, the tender tissue of the stomach can take up to 6 months or a year to totally mend itself (and there is no hastening that process other than to stop irritating it more with poor digestion and rough foods (like pop corn, and other chunky food or tortilla chips.) The problem is not hot spicy food. But citrus, tomato, and dairy may burn the stomach; milk turns to acid that might bring problems. The problem is also exacerbated with flushing our food down with milk or water during mealtime, which dilutes the good digestive acids so our food ferments instead of being digested! Therein lies a lot of the problem. Instead we should be drinking plenty of healthy liquids between meals. We also do an inadequate job of chewing as we get older and the burden on the stomach is harsh indeed.
The problem with geriatric health in general is that most people do not understand the aging process and how our bodies loose a large percent of our good juices and minerals etc etc every day and by the time we are 80 years old things can be pretty weak, so things fall apart (unnecessarily) because we don't eat right or chew properly.
Hope this helps a little. You have my deep regards and prayers.
The suggestions that Dawn gave regarding the fact that many CSists see health a little different these days and she'd be in good company if she would ease up on the rigid avoidance of treatment that comes from people other that those CSists of the past decades who interpreted MBE so rigidly.
Love and prayers,
no more CS 4 me
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Posted Monday, April 06, 2009 3:53 PM
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Dear Rising Sun,
I'll keep your mom in my prayers also.
Is there a chance of comparing it to having a bone set? You know, if there's something out of place, or something missing (like hormones or digestive enzymes) that ought to be there, it might be possible to get her to medical help with that line of logic. She might be more comfortable going for the appointment and tests if she realizes that those actions don't obligate her to take the prescribed treatment.
Another possible way to reach her is to remind her that in England, people deal with medical diagnoses all the time and it doesn't slow down their healings. God isn't less able to heal it, just because you happen to find out what it's called! And medical steps won't stop God. There's still plenty to work on, even while the doctors do their part.
The last part, which is the toughest to deal with, is the teaching that its' virtually idolatry to rely on materia medica or any material steps of any kind. If she can keep her heart turned towards God, expecting the healing from God, not from the doctor, she will be walking the line. That's a good challenge, during unavoidable medical encounters. I've learned to be grateful for the doctors, and for what they intend to do.
These are points my brother and I used, when dealing with my dad... and it got him to accept oxygen at night, thyroid hormone replacement, blood pressure meds and cholesterol meds - while he was having a shattered kneecap repaired. YOu never saw a happier patient, during his rehab time. He was the model of kindness and gratitude while he was there. He's walking again, now, and the doctors' best efforts hadn't been enough - so he got his chance after all to work it out CS way. I wish my mom had taken the same practical approach - but as Dad said, she did things her own way. It's scary to see family do what we don't agree with. It is their choice, though. I'll pray for you too, since it really is never easy. THe less fear you have, the better you'll be as a support for her.
Jen.
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Posted Tuesday, April 07, 2009 7:57 PM
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Dear Dawn Comes, Anonymous and Jen:
Thank you so much for your thoughtful, compassionate and detailed responses. It was so good to hear from you! I was able to share some of your suggestions with my mom, as I felt I had to at least tell her I'd consulted people on this website. Her voice is strained and I can tell she is in a lot of discomfort, also complaining of back pain at times. (Have you any idea why lower back pain would accompany the stomach troubles?)
For some reason, she feels much better in the morning (pain free, I think) and then later in the day it hits again. I just suggested pro-biotic tablets (faster acting than acidophilus yogurt), perhaps Ranitidine (an antacid) and then I mentioned the pain medication that one of you suggested. She wrote each and every one down. When I read her Jen's suggestion about "healthy liquids" between meals, she asked me for examples, as everything she drinks is "healthy", but is on the list of acidic drinks (i.e. prune, tomato, apple, and citrus juices, and some milk). This is pretty confusing for her.
Can you think of any neutral liquids? Perhaps some kinds of herbal tea? The way we left it today was that she'd just drink "Boost", one of those nutritional drinks in a can.
I also mentioned the possibility of finding a doctor who is known to be understanding of CS beliefs. I wonder if even her practitioner friends know of one. She accepted this suggestion without argument. Hopefully she'll act on it.
Thanks again for all of your suggestions and willingness to pray.
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Posted Wednesday, April 08, 2009 4:49 AM
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Dear friends,
The thing about stomach pain is that the cure depends on the cause.
I don't want to scare you, but I have to be straight with you also. The reason you want a doc on the case is to rule out the bad stuff, and to set you straight on the name of it, which lets you research what helps. My uncle had stomach pain, and ignored it -and it turned out to be a tumor. Some tumors are benign and some are bad. His wasn't good, and waiting too long only wiped out the doctor's chances of helping. Your mother's age would tend to make me think it wasn't that, or you'd have heard about it sooner. Anyway a good doc would rule out bad stuff like that (or simpler things that happen to many of the elderly) first of all.
It could be relatively simple.
Some folks have stomach pain from what they're eating -as though something didn't agree with them. For example, people with wheat allergy or dairy intolerance, will get some quite debilitating pain, when they eat what they shouldn't. In the case of the dairy problem, a lact-aid pill (containing the digestive enzyme for dairy) is taken with the first gulp of dairy. That usually takes care of the gas, bloating, undigested clumps of I forget what they call it... Severe gas can cause a lot of pain. Charcoal pills and lots of water are for extreme cases. Lesser ones can use the over-the-counter gas relief. Think chemical reaction, breaking down the gas, so it can exit.
In the case of people with IBS (and things like sluggish metabolism, or even hypothyroid), there can be pain from severe constipation. It's simple to ease constipation, but the causes may benefit from meds. THere are dietary things you can do to help, once you know what you're dealing with. For IBS, and metabolism issues, you'd want higher fiber, with more liquid, of course. Make sure she gets the 8 cups water or fluids a day. You'd want her to do that anyway, for other reasons. Just be sure she's gotten most of the fluids early in the day, not so much after 3pm, or she'll be up all night to the bathroom! Not fun either. Prunes are great for some of the fiber. Apples are helpful. Juice leaves out the fiber, so go for the actual fruit! Some people like a mix of 1/2 c. juice + 1/2 c. aloe vera juice + 1 tsp lemon juice first thing in the morning. Helps heal interior... Other people find a Cider vinegar tablet helps the stomach with digestion (for when they're not acidic enough to digest food properly.
There are laxatives available, but use with caution, since we don't want to cause dehydration (which brings it's own bad effects). Fleet makes a ginger-lemon flavor one you add to juice or soda, and won't hardly notice. Just stay close to a bathroom until you know how it affects you. It's for occasional use in severe cases, and doctors recommend it highly.
The lower back pain can be easily remedied if it's spinal misalignment - a chiropractor moves bones back into position. Some CS will go to them happily, because they're just putting bones back where they belong.
Pain and misalignment from lower back can affect stomach performance; and inner organs can send their pain signals to exterior parts like the back. The reason for that is that some organs don't have the function of reporting pain signals. So the next closest thing does it. A doctor hearing of lower back pain might be thinking of checking on the kidneys, for instance. Don't laugh, but it's capable of being quite a culprit.
Kidney, liver, and gallbladder all affect the health and performance of digestion.
So it's like everything in this human body is interrelated. These guys train for years and lifetimes, just to keep up with the latest and how to help us better, diagnose more accurately, and guide our treatment more reliably. They aren't the barbers they were in MBE's day. They actually know what they're doing most of the time, and it usually works. They're like mechanics, for the human body.
Green Tea is actually an anti-inflammatory agent, if she gets 3 cups of it a day. I wouldn't use it if taking over the counter pain pills, since the combination can cause internal bleeding. Some people get that response from the pain meds anyway, so be careful what she takes, and keep attentive to her response. (That's why I pray to respond well to what the doc gives - and I do my research on anything they prescribe.) Inflammation can be in funny places, like the intestines or colon. Cutting back on sugar can reduce it there too.
Herbal concoctions in tea or pill form can be quite potent. Bausch and Bausch (One is MD and the other is CNC) wrote a book "Nutritional Prescription for Healing" and have updated it a number of times; and also another book about Herbal Prescription for healing... Both books have a powerhouse of info on the herbs, the vitamins & minerals, and an entire section of remedies, listed illness by illness. They're encouraging, and have worked beautifully for me and my whole family for years. If you're going to try herbs, learn all you can about what she needs, and what they can do -or how they interact with each other, other foods, and medications. Don't go at it in ignorance. And when introducing a new food or herb, do it slowly, to make sure you give them a chance to get used to it. You don't want to give a rash, or other bad reaction. And besides, a lesser amount often does the job just fine. As we get up in years, we respond to some things faster, and to others slower.
Even if she just goes to the doc to be sure she knows what she's dealing with, at least she'll have a clear idea -and often less fear- instead of not knowing. You can see that the "helpful hints" are many; but they depend on what you're dealing with. It helps to start from a position of naming it. As for that giving the belief more power, consider that Jesus found out the names of the demons he was casting out. And then he used those names when he told them where to go! In some healing traditions, knowing the name of the thing gives you authority and power over it. In my experience, anything that reduces the fear helps. I find once I know what it is, I can settle in and get dealing with the thing. I can choose what needs temporary help (from medicine), and what to pray about first.
A lot of people don't realize that their choices can make problems for them, or help them. If you give a PLANT high-caffeine drinks instead of water, at first it may have a fast growth spurt, but soon it will start to yellow, or turn spotted, and then die. Plants need water, to grow. It's not smart to mess with that, though it makes for a fun science fair project. We don't need to be treating our bodies like science fair projects! There are things (like water, fiber, rest, exercise) that are good for bodies, and work reliably for our benefit. There are things (like stress, artificial sweeteners, trans-fats, too much refined flour or sugar, or overeating) that set our systems out of whack. It's not about just caffeine, smoke or alcohol, though those can have nasty effects too. CS has the effect of lowering the stress levels, because of it's meditative nature. Prayer speeds healing, no matter what religion you are. And God is ultimately the best healer. Many Christians suspect that healings gained through medicine are also given by God -at least by his permission. Otherwise it couldn't work at all. The best doctors prefer that you keep praying. They don't want to be God, and they know medicine isn't a god. Prayer is a vital part. Just don't rule out common sense! God wouldn't like that, if I read Proverbs right.
God bless!
Jen
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Posted Wednesday, April 08, 2009 7:58 AM
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Rising Sun,
Your update is encouraging! It sounds to me as if your mom might be open to the idea of consulting an MD. That is what needs to happen, and I believe that you can find someone willing to work with her compassionately. Perhaps you could get on the phone yourself and starting speaking with nurses at clinics in her area.
I don't want to give you any medical advice at all, and only mentioned the Carafate as an example of a stomach med that relieves pain and can heal the problem at the same time. All the rest of it, even simple suggestions regarding appropriate liquids, may be way off the mark depending on the nature of the problem. Even green tea is inappropriate for a sufferer of gastritis or acid reflux. So, I am hoping you will be able to obtain expert medical advice even if it means a telephone consult.
But what WE can do is pray!! And I will.
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Posted Wednesday, April 08, 2009 9:06 AM
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Jen,
What is your medical degree?
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Posted Thursday, April 09, 2009 4:49 PM
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Rising Sun,
Good to hear your update. But now that you have gotten so much advice that confused and scared the feathers right off of you it might be a good idea if you sat down with a nice pot of tea and a silly magazine and just spaced out on some frivolous, foolishness for little awhile. Personally I don't think so much detailed health advice with all the ins-and-outs and pros-and-cons of various treatments is appropriate or helpful here. Emergency home health-care is what we have a thousand health websites on the internet for, or book-shelves at health food stores for. We here are only a handful of caring people who are not really trained. We can only suggest or over-suggest.The question is what to do in the next few hours or days (?) when our dear elder CSist parent is hungry, thirsty and in pain and then what to do later on in the day or tomorrow to make your mother's situation better until you get her to a real physician of some sort. My prayers are for you and your mother that you both be guided to the right treatment and that you both be guided to have some bites of gentle food to eat and sips of mild fluids till you know what you are dealing with.
All the advice and suggestions should be kept simple here as we have not done research on your case, and we aren't there to quiz your mother in person either. I agree with the suggestion of consulting what has become known as "dr Google" for good internet home emergency advice regarding what to do today for your mom, until you can get her to a real flesh and bones physician of some kind and not take anyone too seriously who posts here! Immediate ideas on what to put or not to put into her stomach when she gets hungry and thirsty are important and available to you from a huge host of responsible natural practitioners as well as medical practitioners on the internet. You will see that there is more wisdom available on-line than you ever dreamed. As for me, I prefer and have more faith in naturopathic physicians than just medical doctors and I am fortunate to have one who has training in both directions.
Yes, when dealing with an ill CSist elder parent we often have to play doctor on the spot whether we have degrees or not and sometimes we home-health-workers do more useful research regarding women's problems than a "real" doctor does! Caregivers without medical degrees often do give the best information, even when it does become too much.
And of course, you still need to assist your mother to a physician and stand by her side while the physician talks to her. That is imperative for all concerned. Be there at her side in the room with her. Help your mother explain, ask questions and then listen and ask more questions. Don't be shy, don't leave it all to your mother to ask or listen effectively! And don't feel rushed! This is a precious physical, emotional, spiritual LIFE we are talking about here, and she will most likely not tell the doc all that needs to be said, and the stress may make her forget what he told her to do or not do!
A. Mouse
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Posted Thursday, April 09, 2009 10:24 PM
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Dear A. Mouse and Jen,
I have to be brief at the moment but want to thank you and everyone else concerned for the time you've taken to help. Your words of encouragement are really comforting, and I completely agree that a diagnosis is essential before knowing what route to take. I'll keep you posted.
Wishing you all a happy Easter!
Rising Sun
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