I have recently joined the ranks of former Christian Scientists.  I know my story sounds like a soap opera, but it has been a long, painful journey. I am not one of those lifelong, multi-generational Christian Scientists;  I was raised in a different Christian faith, and did not even know CS existed until late in my high school years.  Shortly after graduating from college, I married a lifelong, third-generation Christian Scientist, and I accepted her religion as my own.  I didn't see any great doctrinal differences or conflicts with anything in my former church.  And, I thought our marriage would be stronger if we both attended the same church.  Remember how smart you were when you attained the grand old age of 22?  That was me in 1978; I knew pretty much everything, or so I thought.  It's odd how much I must have forgotten in these intervening years.  I was wrong about the lack of doctrinal differences, but more sadly, I was wrong about CS strengthening my marriage. 

Over the last 3 decades, I became quite active in branch and Mother Church activities.  I was class-taught, held every available position in local churches including soloist and organist, and served at various times as state Committee on Publication and a CS Representative for a military base.  In short, I was a dedicated Christian Scientist, thoroughly indoctrinated in the CS culture.  Applying what I was learning, I had numerous healings and spiritually uplifting epiphanies.  So, what happened?    The short answer is:  I finally grew up [spiritually].  But the growth required a few painful lessons.

The first lesson came through the untimely death of my mother-in-law, a devout student of CS who had helped countless others, but had been struggling with physical ailments for some time.  She remained steadfast in her faith, denying her illness.  As has been described in too many posts here, she suffered under the care of practitioners, and finally died while being checked into a CS care facility.   We all were devastated.  How could this happen to her?  My wife sought comfort in her grief from a practitioner/teacher who was a member of her mom's church. (more on that later.)  Doubts began to surface for me, but not enough to change my views on the relevance of CS. 

The second lesson came when I learned, after nearly 25 years of marriage, that my wife was having an affair with the practitioner/teacher who had supported her through her grief.  She was ready to leave me then, and would have, if only her lover's wife (yes, he was married, too) would throw him to the curb.  Instead, his wife forgave him.  The Mother Church gave him a slap on the wrist, removing his Journal listing for one year.  (I think the Manual requires a minimum three year suspension, but who's counting.)   An agreement was made that he would have no further contact with my wife, but that stipulation was quickly violated.  Three months later, my wife left, refusing any and all offers of counseling or reconciliation.  In short order, her new lover divorced his wife (who mysteriously died a short while later), and they were eventually married.  He remains the lone Journal listed practitioner and teacher in his state.  My ex tried to explain that God was making her do this –kind of an interesting twist on the old “The devil made me do it” alibi.  That was strike two, but still I remained a strong supporter of the church, very active in my branch and community.  I couldn't condemn the whole religion just because of a couple bad apples.

Meanwhile, I have also remarried. I met another third generation Christian Scientist at a CS-sponsored weekend seminar on marriage.  Long before I met her, my wife had suffered from a treatable disease, but had chosen CS treatment over medicine.  That choice nearly killed her, but at the last she consented to go to the hospital where good doctors literally saved her life.  Even so, following her recovery she returned to the church, though now she has a healthier appreciation for medical science.  Today she continues to struggle with feelings of guilt and attraction to the religion that almost killed her.  But we are praying, and slowly but surely we are making progress toward a healthier and happier Christian way and a new church experience.

But I digress, -Strike three:  After months of improper management in our local church, I paid a friendly visit to the board chairman and invoked the Matthew Code.  I calmly identified a few violations of the church rules, and requested that he correct these errors. He seemed very understanding and cooperative.  Next, in strict accordance with our Bylaws, I mailed the board a letter outlining a number of instances where we as a church were not following or enforcing Bylaws and Manual requirements.  The next thing I knew, I was excommunicated!  Board members fabricated charges against me, and refused to discuss anything with me. Ironically, they violated their own Bylaws by failing to follow the Matthew Code.  And they lied to the membership, claiming that the Mother Church had sanctioned their failure to follow the Matthew Code.  Talk about not following your Rule for Motives and Acts.  This was possibly the most unchristian behavior I have ever seen. 

And so, I was unceremoniously pushed from the nest, and after a great deal of reflection and even more prayer, I have to admit that was a good thing.  It finally opened my eyes to the truth.  I don’t blame the board members; I don’t blame my ex-wife and her new melty swoon boat hubbie/ practitioner/teacher.  I do pity them.  And I forgive them, because in a strange and completely unintentional way, they have helped me to move on to greener, healthier pastures.  My experience has helped me to grow spiritually and get closer to God; it has restored my relationship with my savior, Jesus Christ.  And it has made me a better man. 

I finally sent a letter asking to withdraw from the Mother Church.  Over one month has passed without any acknowledgement.  I guess I will try registered mail next, or maybe I should just wait and see if I get another per capita request…

Thanks for listening.. 

God Bless you all.

What a story! I'm so sorry to hear how badly you were treated by the people who should care the most about you -- your spouse, spiritual leaders, and your church. I'm glad the experience helped restore your relationship with Jesus Christ and that you have a healthy perspective toward those who hurt you. It's interesting that you use the word "pity" regarding your feelings for them. I went through a LOT of emotional turmoil and anger after leaving CS, but after reading thousands of pages of background material in preparation for writing a book about CS, my feelings for Mrs. Eddy came down to one defining word -- pity. I think she really believed her own stuff and that, ultimately, she suffered for it.

I'm glad we've been an encouragement to you. Thanks much for sharing with us.

Thank you Helping One Out, Ann, & Linda for your kind words of welcome.  I know everyone is on a unique journey, but I was hopeful my experiences might help others sort through similar challenges. 

Helping One Out, I wish you well in your well-meaning, and potentially life-saving quest.  As many of us already know, it is not often productive to try to reason with someone rooted in CS.  Criticisms from the last 100 years have insulated them from normal logic.  The defenses are considerable.  Real, heartfelt  prayer helps.  In the end, the most effective answer will come from within, from a recognition that “we must work out our own salvation”  (Phil 2:12)  --not by relying on somebody else’s interpretation of the Bible.  

Think, man, think!  MBE writes in the second paragraph of her primary work, S&H, "The time for thinkers has come," presumably inviting the reader to think for himself.  The reality, it seems for a lot of us is that very little independent thinking takes place while reading the rest of her book.  Instead, the reader unconsciously allows himself to be completely led by MBE's thinking alone, without critically examining her revelations.  She is right about some things – it’s not an academic exercise; you won’t win salvation with scholarly attainments.  But she is wrong about other important points.  Jesus Christ is the only Way to our salvation.  “By grace we are saved.”   Eph 2:8-9

Again, Thank you all.