 Posted Tuesday, October 20, 2009 12:55 PM
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| My husband is CS, I am a Christian. 9 months married into this........what a whirlwind.... I was wondering if the time came down the road, is a CS willing to go to any kind of marriage counseling, retreats, etc..... He refuses to go to marriage counseling when we got married, saying we weren't gonna go the "therapy" route. (although being a CS practitioner himself......isn't thata type of therapy?) I also invited him to go to an undenominational marriage 8 week class through "Fireproof" and he flipped out on me. This was several months ago. He then refused to go to my church functions at all saying I was pressuring him and all us church folk are horrible for evangelizing and being so pushy. Since then, I laid off and he has gotten better. He is a little over a year into CS, though he was raised in it. But he is steady, heavy into it. He just did class instruction in August. I guess I am just trying to find ways we can unite, even spiritually where we can bind and it is non-threatening to him. One thing he will do with me is go to Christian concerts. We are going to one this weekend with Jeremy Camp, Bebo Norman, and Natalie Grant. What are some other things we can do together, that he may agree to? It's amazing and so scary.....I can see this CS so subtly taking over him.....spiritual deception. It is weaving a web of deceit so thick that it is entangling his mind and soul. It's horrible to watch this happen to someone you love. And they really have him trained to read the Bible "buffet style", and that they alone have the answers "the key" that noone else has. Please all ya'll out there keep up with your prayers!!! This is a vicious attack by the enemy on individuals! Pray for a breakthrough that this cult will be destroyed once and for all.
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Posted Tuesday, October 20, 2009 1:41 PM
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I would not call it a vicious attack, nor see Christian Science as the enemy. It just causes discord. I do think your husband is obsessed. I was a 4th generation Christian Scientist, a reader in the church, and I went through class instruction. You do become a lot more obsessed right after class. It usually wears off after awhile.
Arguing with a Christian Scientist does no good. They stop listening, they believe it is error. I would say to always be open to his attending anything with you that is spiritual, but don't push. They just become stubborn. Hopefully, he will see over time that your way is more Christian, but you can't control his religious beliefs. I think you would be just as upset if he pushed you to be a Christian Scientist. Christian Scientists generally do not seek psychological help or counseling. Maybe a few do, but it's not encouraged in any way in the church.
It's good that you will represent to your children a different way so that they won't be fully indoctrinated into Christian Science without any choice. The fact that my mother was raised Presbyterian and although she attended my father's CS church she never joined, that ended up being helpful for me, because I knew she would not criticize me when I left the church as an adult. She also did take us to doctors when necessary, so we were not as heavily indoctrinated as many I have known in the church.
However, it's definitely not encouraged in the church to neglect your family or refuse to financially support them, either. In fact, most Christian Scientists are pretty wealthy -- they consider making money to be a "demonstration" of supply. But if your husband is working towards being a full time practitioner, maybe that's why he's acting so obsessed with it. My aunt was like that, but I always felt she suppressed her grief when her husband died, and she became obsessed with Christian Science to fill the emptiness. Even though he died under CS treatment while she herself was going through class instruction (which she finished, not coming home to be with her children when their father died until class was over a week later.)
Ann
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Posted Tuesday, October 20, 2009 3:20 PM
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This is a vicious attack by the enemy on individuals! I would not call it a vicious attack, nor see Christian Science as the enemy. I suspect Godskid was referring to satan rather than to CS.
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Posted Tuesday, October 20, 2009 3:32 PM
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| Godskid, You might consider reading my book, The Religion that Kills. The book examines Christian Science in light of Robert J. Lifton's classic criteria for "thought reform," the criteria used by cult experts when they look at whether a group is being overly controlling of its people. Despite its sensationalist title (thanks to my publisher and over my strong objections), I bent over backwards to make the book fair and as gentle as possible. It will give you some insight into how CSists think and should help you understand a lot of your husband's attitudes and behaviors.
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Posted Tuesday, October 20, 2009 7:54 PM
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Thank you! and I will check out the book! You are right, Linda... I was referring to Satan as enemy. I wasn't talking about CS. My husband's heart is in the right place and all the people in his church and family as well. They are all loving people in search of Truth. It breaks my heart to see how it can get so twisted....even though it prepares us for it in the Bible and says it's out there....to watch it take hold of a loved one really sucks. I am just so grateful to know Christ otherwise I'd be lost. It took me 29 years of running a self-will run riot and nearly dying intentionally and unintentionally many times before the grace of God intervened and saved me. Being living proof of the power of Christ gives me hope and I know anything is possible with God. It's different to see someone, however who has struggled all their life and then chooses to change and seek God and get deceived. I certainly know better now to not be pushy toward my husband. Instead, I just need to keep on my walk with the Lord and walk as a Christian, pray, and find ways we CAN unite. Hey, I'm grateful we can go to a Christian concert together! It's kinda funny to see him bust out singing a song, and to myself I'm saying "doesn't he realize he's singing about something contradictory to what CS believes" sooooo, God is working in His own way.  Also, he recently went with the children and I to a function at my church held for the children which was HUGE, considering ot long ago he swore he'd never set foot in it again. It's my actions, reactions, and behaviors....when I align MY life with Jesus, then it shines on him and things change for the better. And when I am walking in Christs footsteps, I don't have to DO anything! That's the best part! It's the times I have chosen to worry and obsess over my husband's walk that allows me to have fear enter my life....then I try to control or manipulate because I am absolutely not aligning my life with the Lord's. Experience has proven that. I just hope to stay in the Word and learn and grow from this so that I may better help someone else in the future.
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Posted Tuesday, October 20, 2009 7:56 PM
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| Linda, how long were you a CS?
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Posted Tuesday, October 20, 2009 7:58 PM
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| Must be a hot item! Just tried to order book and they are out of stock I'm on wait list
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Posted Wednesday, October 21, 2009 6:48 AM
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Must be a hot item! Not really -- but Amazon.com did run out, I see. They should be getting some more books very soon.
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Posted Thursday, October 22, 2009 10:17 AM
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Godskid (10/20/2009)
Thank you! and I will check out the book! You are right, Linda... I was referring to Satan as enemy. I wasn't talking about CS.
Sorry I misunderstood. I found Linda's book very helpful also, and I hope you can get a copy soon!
Ann
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Posted Thursday, October 22, 2009 12:12 PM
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There are so many "techniques" out there to help pull a person away from various mind-religions out there. Keep poking around the various threads, pray and read. Some will make more sense and be more applicable than others for you. Pray for wisdom and discernment.
But there is one thing that cannot fail to bear fruit: more reading and studying of the Bible. The more your husband reads, the better.
As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. (Isaiah 55.10-11)
Consider doing a couple's Bible reading daily. Emphasize that it's something that you can do, share, and value together. I strongly encourage that you avoid KJV--a modern text will help cast the Word in fresh ways for him. Even better, get a good study Bible with lots of doctrinal notes, word explanations, and the like. Be careful with discussion, as it can lead to debate, and you've already learned the perils of that! Let the Bible speak for itself, and he can peruse notes and commentary at his convenience--and as the Lord leads him.
There are "one-year Bibles," but these rarely have notes. What my wife and I did once was a regiment of: two chapters of the Old Testament, one, maybe two or three Psalms depending upon length, a few verses from Proverbs or Ecclesiastes, and one chapter of the New Testament. That will take you 15-30 minutes each day.
Charlie B gives his born-again testimony at various churches when he travels on business. He emphasizes that (paraphrase) "Mrs. Eddy declared that everything she knew she learned from the Bible." Although that's not true, it makes a strong rhetorical point: "If Mrs. Eddy wanted to learn more about something, she said she went to the Bible! We should too!"
Remember, it's something you have in common.
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