 Posted Saturday, May 28, 2005 6:57 PM
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Dear Bear, I found that I had to attack each particular issue deliberately with a therapist. I thought I had quit CS in 1973, when I intellectually decided to quit it. It takes a lot longer to realize just how much garbage there is. In the words of the immortal Neil Young, "just beneath the surface of the mud is more mud." Eventually you will find the solid ground. I suspect everyone still has those flashbacks regarding non-intellectual experiences like sound, scent, and touch. this is just how humans are made.
Broncho
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Posted Monday, May 30, 2005 1:52 AM
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Hi Polarbear,
That things come up after 25 years only, just shows how effectively the brainwash has worked on you and how much it affected you. That's why it is so painful for you. Unfortunately, there is no miracle formular to get rid of it all at once. As Broncho wrote, I also had to take each bit separately and see through it. It's like crawling into a long tunnel. It's all dark and whilst you continue your way to the other side it can get rather scary, but at the end you'll see light and will remember things with little or no pain.
God bless you!
Marion
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Posted Tuesday, May 31, 2005 4:24 AM
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Polarbear,
Just a few minutes ago, I posted something for Frogs25, which I will repeat here.
It is one thing to excise the malignancy of CS. (I'll even add, exorcise the demon of CS.) But you have to take steps to create a healthy spirituality. Alas, many ex'ers are so burned by CS, they repudiate all religion. More than a pity, it's tragic.
1) Read the Bible in a modern translation. Go to a Christian bookstore, open various Bibles to a passage you're familiar with (or especially cherish) and compare them, side-by-side. Then buy it and read it!
2) Listen to good Christian music. Get those old CS lyrics purged from your memories.
3) Find a Bible-believing church which teaches and preaches the Bible as God's word without elaborate interpretation or historical qualification. ("We don't believe this part of the Bible because it only applies to ancient times...." BUNK! You're then getting only selected Scripture, speciously interpreted, which is just what Eddy did!
4) Participate in Christan fellowship, including social life, small-group Bible study, charitable activities, and so on.
These are all things CS'ists do little or not-at-all. Now get going!
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Posted Tuesday, May 31, 2005 1:26 PM
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fH,
Thanks for your good advice. I'm in a great Bible-believing church, I have (and read!) several different translations of the Bible, I'm in several groups in which we pray and study the Bible. I listen to Christian music all the time. I work in a Christian Pre-school where the teachers, all Christians, gather for prayer every morning and whenever else we can. I serve in my church and in outreach to the homeless. All of those things are a tremendous blessing, and the Lord has used them to heal and minister to me. What I'm starting to do now is to recognize and change the thinking patterns and worldview that I learned in my childhood, mostly because of CS. I'm also grieving the losses in my life because of CS, especially my mom and brother's deaths. I know that the Lord is working in me. Sometimes that work is painful because the old "junk" needs to be brought to light so that I can replace it with the things that are true, noble, is right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy! I appreciate prayers as I go through this healing process.
Polarbear
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Posted Tuesday, May 31, 2005 8:05 PM
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PolarBear,
Your spiritual and temporal life practices strike me as emminently sensible and grounded firmly on the Rock.
Bravo.
Perhaps what is called for now is persistence in what you're doing, patience with the Lord, and continued growth in faith.
Deeply-rooted problems and malignancies are healed quickly--occasionally--but more often slowly. Trust that the Lord is dealing with these things, being alert to when you are encountering an obstacle or complication with which you need somebody's help. Some of us have used Christian counselors and therapists, and that's an individual decision.
The human brain and an individual's soul are more maleable than people realize. As you reinforce your Christian life with spiritually (and temporally) healthy habits and practices, the old CS stuff is less intrusive. I've been without alcohol or drugs for 29 years now, and I can attest that old obsessions do fade away.
This is called "sanctification."
I remember something from years ago. Let's see if I can get it straight:
Sow a thought, reap an act.
Sow an act, reap a habit.
Sow a habit, reap a lifestyle.
Sow a lifestyle, reap a personality.
Sow a personality, reap a character.
Sow a character, reap a destiny!
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